Rising Phoenix
by FantasyTrepie14
Summary: [Chapter 11 added!] QuistisRinoa. Alternate Universe. The journey begins...
1. Default Chapter

She walked into the bar for the third night in a row and didn't waste any time in getting to a stool at the counter. A thick layer of smoke circled her bobbing head like the nightmares in her defective dream catcher. The room was relatively quiet, save for the lulling music and the droning of middle-aged men trying to be suave and swoon twenty-somethings of the opposite sex into their beds. Not giving any sideward glances to the drunks who had beaten her to the bar, she shrugged off her leather jacket and set herself down in her usual chair.

"Back again?" a voice from the other side of the counter asked.

Before her was a young female bartender. She looked too young to be serving alcohol, but the bar seemed shady to begin with, and it hadn't stopped her from coming in for drinks the last couple of nights.

"Working again?" she countered, looking across the empty space between them. She wasn't a typical bartender, with her vibrant aura and chestnut streaked ebony hair. When she thought of female bartenders, she imagined either a struggling college student or a single mother trying to support the three children her ex-husband had left her after a long and involved affair. This girl was neither.

"You don't seem to be a social drink… What's the matter?" The teen leaned against her side of the bar, eyeing the blond curiously.

Not caring enough to hide any insignificant details, and also desperate for conversation whether she would admit it or not, the customer answered. "I got fired from my job."

The server looked the woman over. Aside from her hair being unkempt and the smudge of mascara under her left eye, she looked pretty wealthy. The real leather jacket and diamond necklace nestled in her bosom gave testament to that.

"Oh? What did you do?"

"I was a professor," she replied as she began studying the girl speaking to her like she had also noticed the social differences between them for the first time. Her beauty was natural, and it flowed out of her like the foam spilling from a full glass of Budweiser. Even if her black bodice and pleather skirt were replaced with one of those potato sacks that homicidal killers hide limbs in, she would still be adorable. "I taught different Calculus and Statistics classes."

The bartender pushed her hip off of the counter, and began to mix up a drink for her customer. Her conversation partner cast her a couple of glances, but didn't object.

"That doesn't sound like a job you just get up and fired from," the young beauty speculated, spraying some clear liquid into double shot glass.

"Don't piss off the Dean," the former professor retorted. The full shot glass was set down in front of her. "What is this?"

"It's called Jolt! Our new blend. Try it, it's pretty good."

"Is it strong?"

"Oh yeah."

"Sounds good already," she took the glass and was about to take a swig but she stopped herself. "Thank you, Ms…"

"The usuals call me Heartilly. But you can call me Rinoa."

The seated woman bowed slightly. "My former colleagues called me Trepe. But you can call me Quistis."

"Okay, Quistis." Rinoa smiled, and Quistis felt her heart skip a beat. They looked each other over, and as Rinoa opened her mouth to say something in hopes of interrupting the strange chemistry building between them, a gruff voice from the other end of the counter ordered another beer. Heartilly, as she was named, walked over to serve him and Quistis felt her eyes stick to the girl the entire time she was gone. Even when dealing with drunken older men, she was as calm and comfortable as could be. Rinoa would adjust a bra strap or pull down on the bottom of the shorts she was wearing underneath her skirt as if she didn't notice the hungry stares on her curves. Feeling like she was probably acting like one of those men, Quistis put her attention back to her drink and her personal problems.

Not long after, Rinoa returned back to Quistis' end of the counter with a cloth in hand. She began wiping down the beer stains on the counter, and Quistis lifted her forearms and her glass out of the way.

"You seem a bit young to be working here," the tipsy blond commented.

"And you look a bit young to be drinking here," Rinoa grinned while gently prying the half empty shot glass from Quistis' loose grasp and setting it on the firm wooden countertop. "But don't worry, I won't ID you."

"I'm twenty five, actually," she squeezed the bridge of her nose between her eyes. Rinoa let out a raspy laugh, trying to hide her amusement because she was convinced that she wasn't the one Quistis was trying to convince.

"Guess how old I am," Rinoa challenged. Once again, her left hip was resting against the counter and her hands were loosely crossed against her chest.

Quistis finished her drink, and instead of slamming the empty glass down on the table like most obnoxious drunks, Rinoa didn't hear it hit the counter. "Old enough to have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah," Rinoa spoke as if she had recited the explanation a thousand times, "he's in the Navy, away on location." A slight hint of nostalgia crept into her voice, but with the way she was playfully slapping the washcloth on the counter no one would have guessed the amount of loneliness she felt.

"Did he give you that?" Quistis lazily nodded to the silver chain with a matching ring resting on Rinoa's chest.

Like she had forgotten it was there, Rinoa quickly reached for it with her fingers and grasped onto it. "Yes. This, and a goodbye kiss."

As casually as ever, Quistis asked, "Is that a Phoenix?"

Impressed and surprised that her conversation partner could decipher the design on the ring, even at the distance and the fact that Rinoa hadn't caught her staring at it, she nodded. "Yeah. If you knew that, I guess you already know what it represents."

Rinoa began to sway, as if she wanted to stand closer to Quistis and confide some embarrassing idea to her. Her lips spoke silent words, and Quistis began to blame the alcohol for the heat she was feeling between her breasts and thighs.

Finally, Rinoa came out with it. "I was thinking… I'd like to go to school. Maybe take some classes, I…"

"Why do you work here?"

"Because it's something girls my age aren't supposed to do," Rinoa smiled back, seeming to be forgetting that she had actually felt shy ten seconds ago.

Quistis pushed her stool back from the counter and stood up. She reached for her jacket, and slid both of her slender arms into the respective sleeves. Rinoa tilted her head back and hoped that she was wearing high heels. Yeah, she probably was, with the long mauve skirt and button-up blouse. Looking down at her own military boots, she felt a blush creep up her neck.

When Rinoa raised her head, she was presented with a little white card.

"If you come upon a decision, give me a call." Quistis said as Rinoa took her card and glanced at it. "At my home phone, of course, since my office phone has been… terminated."

The young girl wiped underneath her eyes with the back of her hand and nodded. "I will, thank you."

"I still have my connections, you know." Quistis reached into the pocket of her jacket and dropped a few bills onto the counter. Feeling overwhelmed, Rinoa bit her bottom lip and slipped the card into one of her boots.

"Cheer up, young one. Worse things could happen." Rinoa caught a glimpse of four perfectly manicured fingernails before they reached around and cupped the back of her head. She had to brace herself by placing her palms on the counter as Quistis gently leaned her forward and kissed her on the cheek.

Rinoa stared at the empty shot glass as Quistis walked away, and wondered if she would be back tomorrow night.


	2. Rising Phoenix 2

The next time Rinoa saw Quistis, she almost didn't recognize her. The once unkempt blond hair was now pinned back, all save for a few loose strands that framed her cheekbones and accentuated the new brightness in her eyes. Her clothing was the same, except this time she wore it differently. As if Rinoa hadn't thought Quistis was tall before, tonight she wasn't crouched over. Instead, she walked like a model on the runway, tall and proud, and Rinoa couldn't help but smirk because she couldn't imagine Quistis soaking in the admirations of interested men or jealous women.

Caught up in watching Quistis crossing the room towards her, Rinoa almost dropped the drink she was in the middle of serving. The customer, annoyed at being delayed his remedy, reached over the counter and snatched the drink from her daze. When she looked back up, Quistis was standing before her. She had already discarded her leather jacket and laid it on the same spot across the bar.

"Hello, Rinoa."

Rinoa scratched the back of her head and laughed somewhat embarrassedly. "You look kind of out of place here, Quistis."

Quistis grinned and sat down. "In that case, I'll just get a Coke."

Rinoa got to the task, filling the glass and lodging a lemon slice on its rim. She presented it in record time, prompted by the sudden jump in her nerves.

"So… How have you been?" Rinoa leaned against the counter, making herself comfortable in hopes that Quistis would give a detailed reply.

Quistis pulled the lemon slice free and squeezed some juice into her soda. Then she brought what was left of the fruit's flesh to her lips. As she sucked the lemon dry Rinoa imagined that she was kissing the peel, sucking out every drop of its delicious saliva that she could find.

"I got my job back," Quistis said, trying to hold back her obvious excitement.

Rinoa beamed. "Really? How?"

"The Dean got fired," she set the bare rind down and stared at it for a while.

Rinoa knit her brow in confusion. "So the new Dean gave you your position back?" Quistis simply nodded a reply, so Rinoa spoke up again. "Well, what did he get fired for?"

"Sexual harassment."

The bartender's eyes went wide. "Quistis, did he…? I thought you told me you pissed him off."

"I did. I rejected his advances."

Rinoa leaned forward, and all Quistis caught sight of was the necklace dangling in front of her face. Looking like she wanted to say something, but finding it best to keep quiet, Rinoa stood up straight. She was closer, but the space between their bodies was too great for Quistis to reach out for comfort. Instead she focused her attention on her drink, wishing that she had ordered something with alcohol.

"Hey, you know what?" Rinoa asked quietly. When she saw that she had Quistis' attention, she nodded to the other side of the bar where there was a raised stage and an old fashion grand piano. "My mother used to perform here."

Quistis looked at the dusty piano. She could easily picture an older version of Rinoa in an elegant dress sitting at the bench, milky white fingers dancing atop the yellowed ivory. "Oh? What does she do now?"

"She died. I was really young at the time." Rinoa sounded slightly nostalgic, but her voice was otherwise unaffected. "Her name was Julia."

"Julia…" Quistis tried the name on her tongue, and decided that she liked it. "Did she ever sing?"

Rinoa began to shake her head. "No, well… she sang one song. I have an old record of it somewhere… It's a really nice song. A love ballad. Funny thing is… she didn't write it for my father."

Quistis arched an eyebrow curiously, and the young girl continued. "She met and fell in love with a soldier. But I guess he went off to serve, and never came back."

Quistis immediately glanced at the necklace dangling around Rinoa's neck, the gift from her boyfriend who had gone off for the Navy. She didn't say anything about it, and neither did Rinoa, though the lingering silence proved that both of them were thinking the same thing.

"Hey Heartilly. Thanks for the good service, beautiful."

Rinoa and Quistis turned to look at a tall man standing to Quistis' left. He took off his cowboy hat and gave her a slight bow.

Rinoa smiled. "You're welcome Irvy. Have a good night."

He dropped a few bills on the counter. A healthy tip, Quistis observed, and he even cast her an appreciative glance before turning back to Rinoa. "My offer still stands, you know."

Rinoa laughed a little as she adjusted the strap that went over her right shoulder. "You know I'm going to have to pass on that."

Seeming unaffected by the apparent shut down, he grinned and swaggered off. His brown leather jacket swayed behind him, and Quistis could have sworn she could hear the clanking of spurs.

Rinoa appeared to be back to her usual carefree self. Her attitude shifts confused Quistis, but she appreciated the strength in the young girl's character. "I take it he is a regular?"

Rinoa nodded. "Yeah. He likes the ladies, but he's harmless." She took Quistis' empty cup and brought it to the sink. When Rinoa returned, Quistis was putting her jacket back on.

"Leaving so soon?" Rinoa asked.

Quistis picked up the lemon rind she sucked dry, and looked Rinoa over. "Yes, I have work to do now." She stuck it between her teeth, but before she could leave Rinoa had grabbed one of her hands.

When Quistis turned around to ask her what she wanted, Rinoa looked incredibly humbled. She let go, but gathered the courage to look Quistis in the eyes. "Will you come back soon?"

Quistis' expression was unreadable. She pulled the yellow peel out of her mouth and tried her best to assess the situation. Rinoa got uncomfortable with the silence, so she opened her mouth to speak in an attempt to defend herself. Before any words came out of her mouth Quistis stuck the rind between the girl's lips.

"I'll come back. Very soon."


	3. Chapter 3

Rising Phoenix - Chapter 3

Quistis' eyes narrowed as she scanned the bar. Rinoa was nowhere to be found. She stood in the doorway for ten minutes to be sure that her eyes weren't deceiving her. Finally convinced, she sat down in a stool and watched the female bartender that was taking Rinoa's place. Her hair was short, about the same color as the streaks in Rinoa's hair, and it bobbed up at her shoulders. It was an interesting look… not one Quistis would go for, but cute, never mind the fact that Quistis also wasn't quite a fan of yellow clothing.

"Hi, can I get you something?"

Quistis looked her over cautiously. "Is Rinoa working tonight?"

The girl behind the counter was surprised to hear a regular customer refer to Rinoa by her first name. She blinked, then gave a perky smile. "Yeah, she's in the back."

"Can I see her?"

The girl seemed reluctant. "I don't know… she's really upset. As soon as the boss left she started crying and hasn't stopped since." She noticed the pain crossing Quistis' face, and after a minute of thought she spoke up again. "You're Quistis… aren't you?"

Not caring how this girl had found out her name, the professor nodded and stood up. She unbuttoned her jacket and stared Rinoa's co-worker down until she crumbled under her hard blue eyes.

"Well, since the boss is gone, I guess it's okay. Go through that door, and Rinoa should be in the door to the left."

Quistis nodded her thanks and walked off. She easily found the door, and beyond it was a small closet room. Her throat gagged up in reaction to the potent bleach and citrus fumes lingering in the air. She stepped in, almost tripping over a broom in the process, and listened for any hint of the dark-haired angel.

The darkness overcame her. She was still. Unmoving, basking in the atmosphere, letting it take her in and make her its own. Deep, heart wrenching sobs reached her ears. They touched her like nothing else. She walked along the road of sadness, and at the end of it she found Rinoa sitting on the floor, with her face in her knees and her hair concealing the entirety of her beauty. All that escaped were two shaking columns with naked little toes clenched up underneath them.

Quistis carefully got to her knees. Unsure whether Rinoa was aware of her intrusion, she tried her best to reveal her presence without startling the upset girl. Quistis had never consoled someone, or been consoled, but the longer she stayed there and heard the echo of Rinoa's wails resonating off the walls, the deeper the pain burrowed into her chest.

As softly as she felt she could manage, Quistis placed her hand on Rinoa's shoulder. "…Rinoa?"

A long time passed before there was any change, and Quistis began to question whether Rinoa had heard her or not. The young girl lost the strength to hold her knees up, and when her legs hit the floor Quistis crawled between them so she could cradle Rinoa's upper body against her chest.

"…Is it you?"

Quistis wasn't sure how she should respond to that question. One of her hands found the top of Rinoa's head. Trying to ignore its softness, she began finger-combing the locks, hushing Rinoa in the process. "It's Quistis…"

Rinoa's cries got loud again. Quistis did her best to suppress them, but her attempts were in vain until the exhausted teenager finally slipped into slumber. Quistis sighed, a bit relieved when the streams of tears were replaced with heavy breaths. This was the closest the two had ever been. Rinoa's form was slouched against the length of Quistis' body, unmoving besides the heaving of her chest.

Quistis glanced in the direction where she thought the door was, hoping to find a crack of light coming in from the other side. She leaned her head down, took in the odor of alcohol, cigarette smoke and musk that was embedded into Rinoa's hair, and wondered where she was supposed to go from here…

When she closed her eyes she was in the darkness, and when she opened them she was in the light.

Fear struck her. Was she in a hospital? Everything was so white…

Yet there wasn't the faint beeping of machinery, nor the smell of bile and anesthetics. No, it was much more pleasant. As her senses focused, she realized that instead of Life Support there was faint piano music playing, and instead of medicines and sickness she caught a different, familiar smell.

What was that smell?

It smelled like… Quistis?

Rinoa sat up in bed. The sheets were white, silk, and slid against her bare legs so smoothly that she felt goosebumps forming on her flesh. The room was classy, sophisticated, and though it was barely furnished it didn't look like it needed much of anything besides a bed, nightstand, and shades for the windows.

What happened last night? Oh, she had been crying. She went to work, even though she shouldn't have, and she went into the closet and cried alone. No, she wasn't alone. She was with the woman who was slumped over in the chair beside the bed she was occupying. Was this… Quistis' bedroom?

"Good morning, Rinoa."

Rinoa was able to look at Quistis for a brief moment before looking away apologetically. "I'm sorry Quistis…"

"To be honest, it isn't morning, it's more like night… You've been asleep for a couple of days."

The bartender almost didn't believe Quistis at first. She felt too weak to get up to the window, but with closer examination it did look like dusk outside…

"I'm sure you're hungry. Come on… let's get you something to eat."

Quistis left the room, and Rinoa spent some time stretching and grimacing at the smell of her own body odor. She eventually emerged from the bedroom, and met eyes with a breathtaking condo room. The common theme seemed to be glass and the color white, but there were hints of maroon and violet strewn into the upholstery and painting. The next ten minutes were spent in wonder and amazement. Quistis didn't seem to take any notice. She hardly ever had company, especially company that slept in her bed, but she remained characteristically calm and well-mannered despite the awkward situation.

Rinoa made her way into the kitchen, which had tabletops made of glass instead of stained wood, and leaned against the counter while she watched Quistis stir some soup on the stove.

"Quistis… you didn't have to bring me here, really. I mean, I'm grateful and everything, but you shouldn't have gone out of your way to-"

The blond reached into a higher cupboard and took out two bowls of soup. She set them down on the counter beside Rinoa and smiled. "All I do on the weekends is grade papers, so don't worry about it." She looked back at Rinoa. "I trust you'll be all right here tomorrow while I go to the University. That is… unless you'd like to come along."

Rinoa watched Quistis pour the thick red soup into the bowls without spilling as much as a drop. "I… Well, okay. Yeah, I'd like to tour the campus."

"Good," Quistis handed Rinoa a spoon and the two of them sat down at the table. Also made of glass, Rinoa noticed, bewildered that she could see her feet poking out beneath her soup bowl. Quistis chuckled into her spoon and watched Rinoa while she paid more attention to her surroundings than her food.

"I make enough money to feed a family of eight. And since I don't have any particular hobbies or side interests, I need something to spend my money on," she explained. Rinoa grinned sheepishly, realizing she must be acting like a five year old in an amusement park. After looking back at her food, Rinoa realized how hungry she truly was. The tomato soup disappeared before Quistis could finish half of hers.

Quistis stood up and took Rinoa's bowl from her. Her face, still gentle with a touch of amusement, bore into Rinoa's soul and the young girl had to look away. "Since your appetite's returned, I'll make you a sandwich. How does that sound?"

Rinoa's cheeks turned a shade of rose. "I'd like that… thank you."

Quistis disappeared into the kitchen. While she was gone, Rinoa leaned back in her chair. The lulling piano melody reached her ears again. She looked around for a radio of some sort, but had no luck in finding one. "What are we listening to?"

"The television in the other room. I left it on a satellite radio station. Easy Listening, or something like that…"

The song continued on, and when it was almost finished Rinoa was fully convinced. "That's one of my mother's songs."

Quistis presented her with a turkey and cheese sandwich. "Really?" she tapped her fingernails on the glass of the table. "You didn't tell me your mother was a superstar."

Rinoa shook her head. "I wouldn't go that far. A local celebrity, maybe… But if she was really popular, I guess I'm the wrong person to ask."

A pained look crossed Rinoa's face. Quistis was unsure if it was the talk of Rinoa's deceased mother that was bothering her, or something entirely different.

"Quistis?"

"Yes, Rinoa?"

"You aren't going away… are you?"

Quistis ruffled her hair and put a firm kiss on Rinoa's forehead. "Of course not."

Rinoa leaned forward, but from her seated position she only had Quistis' stomach to rest her head on. A blank expression took over, and though Quistis couldn't see her face she was doing her best to fight back the oncoming tears.

"Rinoa… What's wrong? What happened?"

Two hands clamped onto the front of Quistis' shirt.

"…He's never coming back."

Quistis looked at the floor and cursed under her breath.


	4. Chapter 4

Rising Phoenix - Chapter 4

"See? I told you that I was bad at this game!"

There was a playful sneer from the other side of the table. "That doesn't mean I'm going to let you forfeit."

"But I can't pay you!" the losing girl protested.

"You still have a piece of property. Sell it. Here, I'll even pay you twice what it's worth."

"Forget it," the other girl laughed. "I'm done. Take all of your stupid Monopoly money." The loser ruffled her fingers through her own black locks and flicked a tiny metal iron at her adversary.

Instead of taking the money, Quistis began to file it and place the colorful stacks of paper into the Monopoly box. Rinoa watched with amusement at how the professor had to organize each pile of money in their predetermined slots. Personally, Rinoa didn't really see the point, but she had learned that Quistis was methodical in everything that she did.

"What are you smiling about?" Quistis asked without looking up from her task.

"Nothing," Rinoa shrugged. She stood up, stretched her stiff legs, and bent over to touch her toes while trying to keep her knees stiff.

Quistis left the table without stretching and opened the cupboard to put the game away. "Next time we go into town, you can pick out a game for us to play," she offered. Monopoly was the only game she owned. Quistis had actually guessed that it was far too rigid for Rinoa to enjoy before suggesting that they play, but it gave them something to do.

Anything to avoid the greater issues.

When Quistis pulled her hand back out of the counter, she was holding a bottle of pills. Before she opened the container Rinoa was curiously hovering over her shoulder.

"What're those?"

Not even waiting for a response, Rinoa snatched the bottle away and finished opening it. Completely unfazed, the blonde snuck her long fingers into the container and pulled out the last one.

"Last pill…" she muttered while looking at it.

Since her question had not been answered, Rinoa read the label on the bottle. "Calcium pills, huh? Quistis doesn't drink her milk?"

"Of course. But the women in my family have a history of Osteoporosis, so I prefer to be safe."

Rinoa jokingly rolled her eyes. "Of course you do. You're Quistis."

"Oh? Well in that case…" as punishment, she took the last pill between her teeth, snapped it in half, and forced Rinoa's hand open to take the other half. "You'll be taking your Calcium as well."

Rinoa glanced down at the broken pill in her hand. Considering this was half of a pill it was still fairly large. It was a plain, typical white color, but smudged on it were traces of Quistis' lipstick. Despite knowing that she was blushing, Rinoa glanced at Quistis's relaxed lips. A sheepish grin plastered her face. "Fine. I'll take your stupid pill."

She brought it to her mouth. The pill lingered between her lips longer than it should have. Quistis watched with a wordless smirk. After the pill was finally swallowed, Rinoa turned away. Paranoid that Quistis could read her thoughts through pink cheeks and fleeting stares, she began her nervous pace and incoherent babble.

"Quistis… when are you going to tell me to go home?"

Quistis loved how Rinoa could jump from lighthearted chitchat to a serious conversation. She hesitated before responding to adequately switch moods. "Having you as a guest is anything but a problem. It's more of a question of when you want to go home."

Rinoa took that moment to sit down. Quistis wasn't sure whether she should sit down as well, stand by her, or just stay where she was. She was horrible with these sorts of things.

Unlike the nights at the bar where Rinoa could casually talk about her unstable problems and loneliness, it was now apparent that there were plenty of unshed tears the young girl was trying to hold back.

"I don't know about home… But the last place that I stayed at was my boyfriend's house. See, my father and I never really… got along, but it got so bad that he asked me to move into his apartment with him. So I did. This was a couple of years ago, right before he left to go serve. …Knowing that I didn't want to go back home, he asked me to keep house while he was away. And now…"

"Now you don't want to go back there because it's filled with memories the two of you have shared," Quistis finished.

Rinoa brought her knees up to her chest and nodded. Quistis watched as ten toes remaining completely motionless during this moment of uncertainty.

"I still loved him, all the time that he was gone. Sure, as the days and months passed he transformed into a memory, and then from a memory to a dream… And then from a dream to a stranger. I could tell from his letters that something about him had changed. I clung onto a despairing hope, I guess, that someday he would return and I could get to know him all over again, and we could start fresh."

Quistis spoke her next words with caution. "And how do you feel now?"

She watched Rinoa's toes suspended in the air.

"… I feel like… I lost a dream. A sadness dwells in my heart, but there's a guilt too, that maybe I should feel worse than I do."

"I doubt he would want you to feel anymore sadness than you already do," Quistis offered. The distance between the girls lessened. She tapped the undersides of Rinoa's exposed feet until the teary-eyed girl stirred with suppressed laughter.

"I don't know if I can go back to living there." Rinoa sighed. She put her feet back on the ground.

"Then stay here." Quistis paused, realizing how demanding her request sounded. Trying not to evaluate why she rushed to make such an offer, she softened. "…Please stay here."

It was that one humble word that coaxed the salty tears out of Rinoa's eyes. Unable to control herself for any longer, Rinoa hunched over in her chair and sobbed. Her tears were going to get her into trouble again, she knew, but there was nothing she could do to stop herself.

She didn't hurry to wipe them away. She didn't have to.

Ignoring her long skirt, Quistis got down to her knees and used her thumbs to smear the moisture away from two slanted eyes. There was something about this girl. She was kind. She was adorable. She did things that girls her age shouldn't do. She liked to bend the rules. She could cry in front of strangers, and she could even sleep in their bed without feeling threatened or intimidated.

And for some strange reason, Quistis could feel her heart warming up to the beautiful little risk taker.

Her rationality was furious with her. Though at moments like this, with nothing but their own breaths separating their mouths, Quistis didn't care.

A hoarse whisper escaped Rinoa's lips. "Thank you, Quistis…"

Quistis tried to speak but the words lost themselves in Rinoa's dark eyes. She couldn't even will her head to nod. Her hands were frozen to the sides of Rinoa's face. Her cheeks were wet from spilt tears. Quistis could still feel the softness of her delicate skin. Aside from the ludicrous amount of focus she had on Rinoa's adolescent beauty, all conscious thoughts had escaped her.

A hand was placed on top of Quistis'. Sensing that her motor functions were temporarily shut down, Rinoa moved the hand and placed a frail kiss on Quistis' fingertips and repeated herself. "Thank you."

The magic spread from her fingertips to her lips, and Quistis was finally able to smile. "Tomorrow we'll pick up some groceries… And some more of those Calcium pills."


	5. Chapter 5

Rising Phoenix - Chapter 5

------

An entire aisle of various sweet treats met their eyes. Quistis put a hand on her hip while Rinoa skipped between the rows.

"You want to buy candy?" Quistis asked in mock exasperation. She put her bottle of calcium pills into the cart, and followed the girl who was already halfway down the aisle.

"Oh come on Quistis. You don't have any sweets at all in your apartment, and I get cravings," Rinoa said. Her voice was more excited than Quistis could ever remember being over chocolate. Or anything else, for that matter.

"I'll bet you don't even remember the last time you've had a chocolate bar," Rinoa taunted. She began browsing the selections with a smile wide enough for the older blond to see.

Quistis opened her mouth to retort, but since Rinoa was right she kept all forthcoming opinions to herself. "Just hurry up and pick something."

With the way Rinoa was acting, Quistis would have thought it was a matter of life or death. The girl would pick up one bag, frown, shake her head, and decide on something else. Then the cycle would begin all over again with another chocolate covered treat. To pass the time, Quistis looked over the items in their cart and began calculating how much the total bill would be.

After what felt like years, Rinoa finally came upon a decision. "Okay, I'm getting these."

Quistis lowered the rim of her glasses and read the box. "You're getting Pocky sticks?"

Rinoa nodded. "The chocolate kind."

Quistis gave a playful sigh as Rinoa threw the box into their cart.

----

The two women returned to Quistis' apartment and began unloading the foods from the grocery bags. If Quistis was impatient while waiting for Rinoa to pick out what kind of sweets she wanted at the grocery store, then there was no word to describe how Rinoa felt while she waited for Quistis to put the groceries away. The college professor had to make sure that every item went to the exact spot in the exact cupboard that it was assigned. Rinoa gave up on helping and retreated to the other room with her box of Pocky sticks.

"Quisty… hurry up. I want you to try these." Rinoa whined from the living room.

"If you call me 'Quisty' ever again, I'm never going to try those things," she said in the sternest voice she could muster.

Rinoa scoffed back in an equally stern tone and lounged across the sofa. Her knees bent over the arm rest. She wriggled her free toes, sometimes stiffening her legs so her feet were high up in the air and she could watch the way the bones in her feet move. The soft white couch gave her the illusion that she was rolling around on a cloud. A peaceful smile crossed her face as she daydreamed. She floated on a cloud, balanced on her knees with arms spread out to the vast sky before her. Wings sprouted from her back. Just as she was about to leap off into the infinite blueness before her, a voice dropped her back to reality.

"What are you doing?" Quistis asked. She walked into the room to witness Rinoa, on her couch, kneeling with outstretched arms.

Instead of looking sheepish, Rinoa opened her eyes with a blissful smile. "Just daydreaming…" She doubted Quistis understood such a feeling, but the professor gave a knowing smile.

"Care to share?" She sat down next to the dark-haired beauty. Quistis' weight caused one side of the cushion to sink and Rinoa lost her balance. She used Quistis' thigh to keep herself from falling to the floor. After catching herself, Rinoa reached over her to the coffee table where the Pocky sticks were waiting.

"If I told you, you'd laugh," Rinoa ripped open the packaging and began to gnaw on a Pocky stick.

Quistis leaned towards her, sneaking out a snack for herself. "Try me."

Rinoa took a hard swallow. "Ah… it's nothing."

"Your blushing is awfully cute, Rinoa. Do you do it on purpose?"

"No!" Rinoa snatched the Pocky stick from Quistis' hand. "I can't help it."

"You tell me what you were daydreaming about," Quistis began, "and I'll try one of these chocolate sticks of yours." She grabbed back the Pocky Rinoa stole from her earlier.

"I told you, it wasn't really much of anything. I just saw myself flying, that's all."

Quistis' smile broadened. "Up in the sky?"

"Well, I was on a cloud… I was about to fly."

"Did you have wings?" Quistis asked, looking to Rinoa's back as if a pair were about to sprout.

"Yeah, I did…"

"Were they white?" Quistis asked in the same tone she had been using, even though her smile was getting bigger.

"Yes, they were. With lots of feathers. They were huge, too, at least twice as long as my arms."

Rinoa's excitement over her vision got the best of her. She stuck a Pocky stick in her mouth to shut herself up before she had the opportunity to sound even more ridiculous.

"That's funny," Quistis said in a remarkably calm tone that hinted towards something more, "I had a dream that you were an angel too. Except in my dream, your cloud wasn't my couch." She took the Pocky stick from Rinoa's lips and began to nibble on it.

Rinoa's cheeks turned the deepest shade of red Quistis had ever seen. The young girl stood up on her heels in a huff, and turned around to face Quistis.

"What would it take to get you to blush, Quistis? It's not fair that I'm the only one that does."

The blond glanced up at Rinoa, who was trying to look threatening. "I don't know. I can't say I remember the last time I blushed--"

Quistis' sentence was cut short by Rinoa's lips pressing against her own. Her lips were hot, and the tongue that entered her mouth tasted like chocolate. Sweet chocolate, like the streaks in her hair and the dark color of her eyes. Quistis was too shocked to respond at first. By the time she began reaching out to pull Rinoa closer, the heat that was surrounding and invading her mouth disappeared and was replaced by a Pocky stick.

Rinoa looked more than satisfied when a light shade of blush showed itself on Quistis' cheeks.

"So, Quistis… How do you like the candy that I picked out?"

----

A/N- I'd like to extend grateful thanks to everyone who reads and responds to this fic. At the same time, I'd also like to apologize to anyone who is impatient with the relationship/fluffy scenarios. Important plot elements are forthcoming, I promise.


	6. Chapter 6

Rising Phoenix - Chapter 6

-----

Quistis gave a heavy sigh. Her eyes moved from Rinoa's mischievous smile to the ceiling, to the wall clock, to the television that hadn't been used in weeks, and then to her lap. The young girl was sitting across from her, legs crossed, with her coffee eyes glinting.

"Come on Quistis… I'm waiting."

The blond grunted. "This game is stupid."

"Yeah well, I hate Monopoly, and I played it with you."

"But this game is for children."

"We are children," the bartender contradicted. "Besides, you're the one who picked Truth. So answer."

Quistis adjusted the thin strap of her maroon halter and gave Rinoa a familiar scowl. "That's because the last time I picked Dare, you made me drink an entire glass of that disgusting… concoction."

Rinoa raised her palms towards the ceiling, admiring the way the cracks of sunlight shining through the blinds cast diagonal shadows on her fingernails. "It was soy sauce, mustard, cut-up garlic cloves, and chocolate milk. To be exact."

The two women were sitting on the white rug of Quistis' living room. Since she was sitting in front of the couch, Quistis leaned against it. A scowl crossed her face as she remembered the way Rinoa's "miracle potion" tasted. The strong garlic flavor still lingered on her tongue. That was the worst dare Quistis had ever followed through, except for that one dare from her first and only slumber party when she was eight; she kissed a cross-eyed boy who was missing both of his front teeth.

"I think you should stick to mixing alcohol."

"And I think you should answer my question." Rinoa leaned forward on her knees, perching herself on them. Quistis, who had returned her eyes back to her lap, looked to the girl's bare chest where the necklace dangled. Quistis took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of waves crashing against golden sand. Rinoa smelled like beauty. Nature. Freedom. All the elements of life that Quistis had been missing before she appeared in her life.

"Okay, fine. Yes, I've had a boyfriend. A long-term, serious relationship, actually. Am I done?"

"Of course not," Rinoa tugged at one of the free strands of blonde hair that escaped the clip at the back of Quistis' head. "How did you meet him? What was his name?"

Quistis hated memories. And she hated resurfacing them. Rinoa was cunning, and this game was her way of finding out about Trepe's life since Quistis rarely talked about herself. When Rinoa found out details about her life, it was usually through scavenging or sleuthing.

Deciding to be fair, Quistis bit back a complaint. "He is one of my colleagues at work. And his name is Seifer. Seifer Almasy."

"Oh, so you still see him often?" Rinoa peered. Quistis nodded, looking neither upset or saddened by the fact. "What does he look like? Is he hot?"

Quistis managed a chuckle. "Well, he isn't hard to look at, that's for sure…" she stopped, not preparing to say anymore, but Rinoa's raised eyebrows were begging for more specific details. "Okay, fine. He is a bit taller than I am. With piercing blue eyes. The sort of eyes, that, when you look into them, you know they're shielding something beautiful. As gorgeous as his eyes may be, they also harbor incredible amounts of sadness, bitterness, and contempt. Within the first verbal exchange I had with him, I knew he was going to be a hard egg to crack; as a co-worker, friend, or otherwise."

Rinoa was amused by the way Quistis described him. She grinned, and wondered how Quistis would explain her if someone ever asked. "Hair?"

"His hair…" Quistis looked off, grasping onto a distant memory. "Short. About the same color as mine. A little darker. Tainted, I guess."

Rinoa sighed. "You two look an awful lot alike, then. You must have been quite the couple."

Quistis nodded. "The common themes of loneliness and mistrust in our lives were what brought us together."

Rinoa scratched the back of her head. "Then what went wrong?"

"The same thing that always does. It just didn't work out," Quistis shrugged. "I wish I could give you a better answer. A healthy relationship can't be one that is based on such negative principles."

It was now Rinoa's turn to give a solemn nod. "Yeah… I guess you're right."

"Look," Quistis grabbed onto Rinoa's shoulders, and pushed the girl back so she wasn't balancing on her knees anymore. "You've been completely honest and personal with me. Which I'm grateful for. And I wish I could do the same for you… but I'm afraid that the space between us is there because of that person. Seifer… Let's just say that I am still in the process of learning from my mistakes. You will have to be patient with me."

Rinoa smiled. "You don't have to worry about that. I'm very confident."

Quistis, relieved to have gotten that off of her chest, exposed a weak smile. "I've noticed. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this, but you're definitely something else Rinoa."

Rinoa kept smiling.

That smile…

"Anyway," Quistis cleared her throat. "I do believe it is your turn."

"Yeah, yeah," Rinoa was tired of sitting, so she got to her feet and circled the room. She walked over every piece of furniture that stood in her way. Now there were footprints on her glass table. Quistis sighed.

"I pick Truth. You know, to be fair," Rinoa grinned. She extended her arms for balance as she hopped from the couch to the armchair.

"Okay…" Quistis pretended to take time to think about her question. When she was ready to embarrass Rinoa, she raised her voice. "Why did you kiss me yesterday?"

Rinoa was about to leap onto the next piece of furniture, but she stopped herself before her knees had the opportunity to fail her. "Why? … To make you blush, of course."

"How did you know that I would blush?"

"Because as calm and confident as you make yourself out to be, Ms. Trepe, you're also the kind of person that would be embarrassed by that kind of thing."

"And you're not?" Quistis challenged.

Rinoa hopped off of the coffee table and looked at Quistis. "I'm not reserved with my feelings, like you are."

Quistis rose to meet her. "Is that so?"

"That's right…" Rinoa sauntered towards her. Here it comes. That strange feeling again. Was it anticipation? Her palms began to sweat with the very thought of touching Quistis' face. Anywhere, really, from the milky planes of her thin cheeks to her perfectly manicured hands. All of her was beautiful. Beautiful, with a touch of contemporary elegance.

"And how do you feel now?"

"Nervous," she managed to say without blushing, "like I want to ask for a hug, no matter how ridiculous that would sound."

Quistis took a deep breath. Her naked feet padded against the carpet until she was before Rinoa. Close enough to smell her. Close enough to touch her. To look down into her eyes and be able to see straight through to her soul. She saw the muscles tighten in Rinoa's body. She saw every separate strand of hair, shining with raven beauty. Rinoa's shoulders were broader than usual, as if she were trying to make herself appear larger in Quistis' presence.

Quistis finally hugged Rinoa.

And when she did, she felt Rinoa's spirit stir within her.

"I've never had a true friend before," Quistis whispered. Her breath caught on Rinoa's bangs, but she knew the words reached her ears.

As simple as the statement was, it brought tears to Rinoa's eyes. "Friend…" Though it sounded right, a pang of disappointment hit her chest. "I'll be your first friend… and you can be my first escape."


	7. Chapter 7

-1

"And this is my office."

Quistis spread an arm out into her second story office in the Mathematic Department's building. A small window behind her desk overlooked the campus library where students walked in with a cup of coffee and walked out with stacks of research materials. The afternoon sun shone in on the tidy room. There were enough materials in the room that could make it appear cluttered. That is, if the office belonged to anyone but Quistis. Professor Trepe kept all of the text books arranged alphabetically in a bookshelf on the west wall. She wasn't one for frivolous decorations. Her desk, located in the center of the room, supported nothing more than a laptop and a neat stack of papers sorted alphabetically as well. A pair of wooden chairs leaned against the opposite wall, but Rinoa wasn't interested in sitting down.

She walked over to the bookshelf. Hardcover textbooks were tightly packed side by side. She touched the binding with her fingertips and traced the titles that were imprinted in bold text. Calculus, Statistics and Logic, Advanced Algebra...

Rinoa smiled, remembering the trouble she had with problems like factoring in high school, and then bet to herself that if she randomly chose any question from one of these texts, Quistis could recite the equation, process, and answer by memory.

Rinoa was still taking her time to observe and appreciate every crevice and polished floorboard in Quistis' office, but the blond was impatient for a response. "What do you think?"

Rinoa propped her bottom on the corner of her friend's desk. "I think it's amazing that you crammed so much knowledge into such a little space. And so efficiently, too."

Her tone was light, but the fascinated gaze her chocolate eyes took when they traveled the length of the room told Quistis she was yearning for an environment like this.

"Some of my colleagues should be around, if you would like to meet them."

As if on cue, a male voice spoke from the doorway. "Look who finally shows up."

Both girls in the room gawked at the man filling the doorway. He strode in uninvited and held a sealed letter. Acting as if she didn't notice the white paper in his hand, Quistis glared straight to his face.

"You shouldn't be so lax when it comes to Department meetings, even if you _are_ on the new Dean's good side. Kramer is too soft, if you ask me." He continued on collectively, seeming to enjoy the way his mere presence racked Quistis' nerves.

Not wanting to be bested by him, Trepe continued to appear cool on the outside despite the fact that her blood was boiling. "Then thank you for delivering the letter to me." He extended his hand as if to give the envelope to her, but when she reached out it was snapped away.

"So is this your little distraction?" He tapped the corner of the envelope on Rinoa's thigh that was still rested on the desk. Quistis had no reply. He wouldn't have seen her scowl anyway, because his attention was focused on the teenage beauty.

Rinoa tried giving him nothing more than a passing glance.

She couldn't.

His slanted eyes were too piercing. His gaze was too mysterious. The stormy blue color of his eyes shielded promises of adventure and deceit. His square jaw and prominent chin defined his intentions. Rinoa read him as a deep man who probably wouldn't hesitate to use someone-particularly a woman- if the opportunity arose. He stood straight and proud,

But Rinoa guessed that he enjoyed having the upper hand on others to feel better about the skeletons in his own closet. Spending hours a night reading lonely alcoholics at the bar made her an excellent judge of character… so she liked to believe.

Despite the way he made Quistis feel, Rinoa couldn't take her eyes off of his. She was appalled with herself. Working at the bar had also given her an acute talent for shrugging off men who so much as looked at her the wrong way. But his intent stare was reading her by the second and she was unable to look away. The drunks at the bar didn't have half of his charm.

"Seifer Almasy. Pleasure to meet you."

While Rinoa had lost herself in his intimate stare, the professor had found her hand and kissed the back of it.

"I know," she said back in a voice that was more flustered than she liked. His cropped hair fell in golden strands just past his eyebrows.

Seifer stood back at full posture and returned his attention to Quistis. She was fuming underneath her professional exterior. Rinoa could tell that it pleased him.

"The Dean's wife is giving a presentation tomorrow afternoon. I wouldn't bother showing up, but I know the dry topics that she talks about interest you."

He dropped the letter on the desk next to Rinoa. She noticed the loose knot of his crimson tie dangling beneath his unbuttoned collar. The crinkles on his gray sleeves and the untidy length of his pants legs didn't make him look unprofessional at all. A teasing sneer was all Seifer Almasy gave to his ex-girlfriend before swaggering out of the office.

Quistis was grateful to watch him leave. Every time he entered her life, even if it were for only seconds at a time, the old scars split into fresh wounds. His mocking smile was salt on her raw flesh. Seifer could still come off as confident. Daunting, even. Sometimes Rinoa joked that Quistis made herself out to be exactly the same way… but the blond didn't agree. She was sensitive and transparent.

When she got over the rush of emotions plaguing her mind, the professor looked at her companion. Rinoa was still staring through the doorway, unaware of the tense expression on her face.

_I forgot that Seifer had that affect on women_, Quistis thought to herself before clearing her throat.

Rinoa turned her head and suppressed a fit of embarrassed giggles. "So. That's… him." Her ebony hair was a flattering contrast to the increasing redness in her soft cheeks. Quistis leaned her elbow onto the desk. Focusing on Rinoa's smile helped her to ignore the pain in her heart.

"Yes." Her blue eyes were despairing. "That's him."

Rinoa scratched the back of her head. "He's… charming."

"I know."

"Definitely a womanizer."

"Uh huh."

"How long did you say you two dated?"

"Too long."

Rinoa hopped off of the desk. Refusing to let her thoughts linger on a man who broke Quistis' heart, she rushed to change the topic. "Don't you have a class to teach?"

As much as Rinoa would have enjoyed sitting through one of Quistis' lectures, she decided to spend some time on her own to explore the campus. She strolled along the paved walkways between lecture halls and residential buildings. Every old-fashioned red brick building looked the same to her. Rinoa spent an hour browsing through art galleries and empty auditoriums. She failed to notice most of the students passing by her, unless someone was too occupied with their cell phone or pager and accidentally bumped into her. If it was a girl, she would either apologize or walk off without a word, while the boys took time to study her over and invite her to lunch.

It didn't take long for Rinoa to get bored wandering around, so she flagged a few random students down to point her in the direction of the café in Balamb Hall. Quistis suggested that they meet there for lunch after her class was through. By the time she had wandered through a couple of buildings more than once and was forced to backtrack before going to the opposite end of the premises to find the café, she still managed to have some time left.

After ordering herself a mocha and sitting down at a quaint table in the corner, Rinoa found herself thinking about Quistis. That wasn't much of a surprise to her. Whenever Quistis left for work, or Rinoa was mixing drinks at the bar and the blond was nowhere in sight, her thoughts always centered on her new friend.

_Was her hair golden like fields of grain, or bright like the sun's rays? Were her eyes open and clear like the blue sky, or deep and dark like the vast ocean? Was she..._

"Hello again."

Rinoa looked up from her beverage to see Seifer Almasy standing beside her table. His sneer was more crooked than she remembered. "Oh, hi."

He wasn't disconcerted by her faked lack of interest. "I'm sorry, but I didn't catch your name earlier."

After taking a good look at his handsome and hard features, Rinoa was wrapped around his finger again. "Rinoa Heartilly."

"That name sounds familiar."

"My mother was a pianist."

"Was?"

"She's dead."

"Ah."

The uncomfortable silence didn't stop him from sitting down at her table. Rinoa watched him, unable to will her mouth to tell him to get lost. What should have come out as an order was instead a capricious attempt at prying out some juicy details. "So… you and Quistis dated."

"Talks about me, does she?" He folded his arms across his chest. The cuffs to his long-sleeved shirt were unbuttoned and rolled back. As his forefinger tapped against his arm, his toned muscles flexed underneath his shirt.

"How long were you two together?"

"Too long."

"Hm. That's what she said." The steam from her mocha created a mist before her eyes. Seifer's cloudy orbs continued to dissect her. With the gray shield rising from the top of her mug, Rinoa was feeling more confident. "Why did you two break up?"

His broad shoulders gave a careless shrug. "We're too much alike."

Brown eyes narrowed. "You and Quistis? Alike? I know I just met you, but the two of you seem like complete opposites to me."

"See, that's where you're wrong. Quistis and I… we're both loners. Independent, confident, and too stubborn to completely open up to anyone. We just… express ourselves differently, that's all."

"Yeah," Rinoa agreed. She leaned forward and gave him an intense stare. "But that makes all the difference."

He grunted before standing up. "So, you're the thing that's been distracting Quistis from her work."

"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't refer to Rinoa as a 'thing,'' a voice from behind said.

Seifer didn't have to turn his head to learn that Quistis was standing behind him. In actuality, he was proud. She snuck up behind him. Caught him off guard. He wasn't an easy person to catch unaware.

"I'm sure I will see you two later." The chill in his voice sent shivers through Rinoa's spine. She watched him leave without giving his former girlfriend a word or glimpse. It wasn't until his physical body had left and the impact of his impression had begun to fade that Quistis filled the empty seat.

Once Rinoa saw Quistis again she was filled with guilt. It wasn't as though she i liked /i Seifer, or that there was a reason she shouldn't besides the fact that he was her ex-boyfriend who apparently treated her badly, but she couldn't help to feel shameful.

"What did the letter from the Dean say?" Rinoa asked as she put down her full cup.

Quistis jumped at the chance to talk about something unrelated to Mr. Almasy. "It was given to Seifer by Dean Kramer… but it was actually from his wife."

"His wife?"

"Yes." Excitement shone in Quistis' eyes, "her name is Edea Kramer, and she wishes to meet with us."


	8. Chapter 8

A storm raged throughout the night. In her sleep Quistis felt the cold drops permeating her skin. She lay in bed, motionless and thoughtless. Her heavy eyes glanced out the window. Thick teardrops trickled down the glass. Each raindrop, released from heaven, carried with it a forsaken dream to the earth so that it might have a chance to be reborn anew.

Thunderclaps were scarce. For every minute that passed by without one, they made up in volume. At first she thought the storm awoke her. The thunder wasn't nearly as disturbing as the murmured cries reaching her ears.

Something else had awoken her.

Quistis lay in bed. The noises that pounded in her sleep were hidden. She tried waiting the cries out. Maybe they would subside and she could sleep again and pretend she never heard them. Avoid an awkward moment and go back to sleep…

She couldn't. Quistis arose from her white bed sheets. She emerged from her bedroom in nothing more than a matching purple pajama set. Aside from her hand's automatic gestures of rubbing her eyes and adjusting her spaghetti straps that dropped off her shoulders, she went straight to the couch where Rinoa was sleeping.

After staying with Quistis for so long, Rinoa insisted that the couch was comfortable enough to sleep on. Thick white cushions and pillows did make it an exceptional resting place, but oftentimes Quistis felt guilty for being unable to offer her more. When she moved in, Quistis never thought she'd need two bedrooms.

Her body fidgeted beneath the blanket. Her head, the only exposed part of her, tossed back and forth in the center of a raven black pool. Black strands of hair crossed her face only to fall back to the pillow every time she threw her head in the opposite direction. An unfamiliar word broke out between each mournful cry. One word. One cry. One love.

_Squall…_

A wet storm? No, this wasn't a plea of natural disaster. It was a cry of loneliness. During the weeks Rinoa lived with Quistis, she never once spoke his name.

_Squall… Squall..._

Lightning bolted somewhere outside the window, and with it came a burst of white light. The pain etched onto Rinoa's face illuminated. Quistis caught it in the split second that the sleeping girl whispered her dead lover's name. As quickly as she caught sight of the pain it caught her heart. She hurt for Rinoa. Her heart was constricted by it. Quistis sat down by Rinoa's feet. Listening to the manifestations of Rinoa's nightmare was torture. Even more torturous would be listening without seeing.

How long had she been crying? How long would she continue to cry? Quistis wondered these things, and then scorned herself for thinking such stupid thoughts. Rinoa always cried for him since the day he died, and will cry until the day she dies. Old loves die hard. Quistis knew this for a fact.

Old heroes die harder.

Fatigue disappeared from her eyes. The initial fogginess shrouding her mind when she first awoke long faded and Quistis was left with a sharp awareness of the emotions taking them both over. Rinoa, even in her dreams, suffered from guilt, despair, and loss. Quistis was familiar enough with these to identify them in anybody, she just never realized that Rinoa dreamt about the things that could have been. When it came to her own feelings, the college professor ignored the ones that confused her and neglected those that defied logic. Here was a young girl living with her. A girl still as strange to her as the first day they had met. Rinoa needed somewhere to stay and Quistis needed someone to wash away her loneliness. The relationship was mutual.

She hoped.

To stop herself from harboring such thoughts, Quistis lashed her hand out to shake Rinoa's shoulder. After exerting a bit of force, Rinoa's eyes finally opened. Another bolt of lighting struck. Rinoa's dilated pupils were large black orbs in the flash of bright light. Quistis immediately withdrew her hand and Rinoa gasped from the shock of emerging into reality. The paranoid young woman didn't sit straight up or dart glances around the room. The surprise and the nightmare faded, and Rinoa spoke in a sigh. "Quistis…?"

"Of course." Quistis extended her hand once again. Rinoa took it into her own grasp, savoring the warmth and the tangibility of what she was experiencing. Every pain poisoning Rinoa's thoughts escaped through her fingertips and traveled through Quistis' veins. The blond shuddered.

"Thank you," Rinoa sighed once more. Her eyes went heavy with release. Her head sank into the white pillow and Quistis continued to watch her in the dark.

Unable to tolerate her thoughts for much longer, she escaped to her bed.

-------

When Quistis returned from work the next evening she confronted Rinoa staring out the window. This was not an unordinary practice for the young woman. Normally, Quistis would take no notice of it and conversation began as usual. Rinoa was grasping her Phoenix ring suspended on the thick silver chain. Her eyes were far-away as typical. The frown on her lips and the tense way she gripped the necklace were not.

The professor set her briefcase down and approached Rinoa as she leaned against the wall at an angle permitting her sight into the apartment and out to the sky. Quistis placed her left hand onto Rinoa's rigid shoulder. Black tips of hair brushed against her fingertips while Rinoa turned her head. "Welcome home, Quistis."

No smile. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Just thinking…"

"About Squall?"

Rinoa's eyes went wide at the sound of her dead boyfriend's name. "How did you-?"

"Last night," Quistis began, watching the myriad of expressions clashing in the dark swirls of Rinoa's eyes, "you were calling out his name in your sleep."

The shoulder beneath Quistis' hand sagged. Rinoa's head fell with a force so great Quistis thought it would tumble to the floor. Now Quistis went tense. She felt like a fool for being direct with a sensitive topic. Rinoa was embarrassed.

"Oh." The following sigh was more desperate than her moans of the previous night. "Sorry for waking you."

"Don't be sorry." Quistis retracted her hand and pulled out a chair from the dining table for Rinoa to sit on. The despairing young woman welcomed the opportunity and sat with a heavy thump. Quistis pulled herself a chair and did the same across from Rinoa's slouched form. She made no motion to do anything beside sit in silence. Uncomfortable as she felt, Quistis knew that now was the moment to prompt Rinoa to speak of her feelings. Otherwise, the opportunity would be lost and she would continue on in a state of deeper confusion. "I'm sorry I can't do more for you."

She noticed Rinoa's bottom lip quivering as she nibbled the inside of it. Before her eyes, the mournful Madonna wore an immortal creature around her neck. The Phoenix suspended between her breasts burned to life before Quistis' eyes. Two wings of fire extended and flapped in a blaze of fury. The immaculate bird reared its head, struggling to free itself from silver confinement.

Rinoa's quiet voice hit her ears like a clap of thunder. "The stronger I feel about you, the more I ache for him. Squall." His name dangled from her tongue. Quistis saw it there as it waited to be spoken again.

Quistis tried conceiving a logical response, but all she thought to say sounded distant and insensitive. "Then you either feel guilty for trying to move on with your life, or haven't given yourself ample time to mourn his death…." her words hung before she forced herself to finish. "Do you know which it is?"

Rinoa shifted in her seat. She looked up at Quistis. The expression in her eyes was frightening. "I'm sorry Quistis… I think I should go."

"For how long?" The inquiry came out in a desperate rush. Quistis mentally kicked herself.

"I don't know," Rinoa glanced out the window once more, but her gaze held more hope than before. "I lived with Squall, whom I loved more than I ever dreamed possible. Then I came directly here, taking shelter from my own feelings with you, one of the dearest friends I've had in a long time. But I think… I need to spend time on my own. Find out who I am and what I want."

Quistis nodded. She felt distant from her body. Unable to command her limbs to embrace Rinoa. She wouldn't persuade her to stay. In her mind, Rinoa was always free. Spontaneous, excitable, and visionary. It would be hypocrisy to try confining her wings now.

"I've spent years alone, Rinoa. I haven't found the answer yet."

A shadow of a smile crept across Rinoa's lips. "Well, now you have something else to consider."

"Rinoa, I'll…" her tongue suddenly felt heavy in her mouth. "I'll miss you."

One clear, unmistakable tear escaped Rinoa's left eye. "I'll miss you too. Thank you. For everything." Sensing the personal blow Quistis had taken, and most likely would bruise from, Rinoa took the initiative. She arose from her seat and crossed the empty space between them to embrace her friend.

Quistis finally willed her arms to move. She held Rinoa closer than she anticipated. The cold metal of her necklace suddenly felt hot against Quistis' chest. An emptiness she recognized but didn't understand filled her. Too empty to cry and too humbled to speak, she continued to hug Rinoa until her arms fell limp to her side.

"I'll call you," Rinoa offered with the same affectionate smile Quistis loved. The one tear multiplied into streams going down both her cheeks.

"That's not like you."

Rinoa would have laughed if she wasn't in such pain. "You're right. In that case, I'll see you when I see you."

Dainty footsteps became tremors as Rinoa walked her way to the door and out of Quistis' life. Quistis was still unable to move her head. She didn't know how long Rinoa stood in the open doorway, staring back at her, wondering whether she made the right choice but knowing it was too late to turn back. Rinoa grasped the ring in her hand and finally shut the door behind herself.

-----

Quistis sat immobile for the longest, darkest era of her existence. If an hour, day, or week passed, she neither knew nor cared. All she felt were Rinoa's wet tears in her hair and the Phoenix's burn against her chest. Rinoa took the vibrant zest for life from her as quickly as she gave it.

The persistent ringing of the phone dragged Quistis out of her internal cesspool of dismay. She was more than unwilling to answer it. Five minutes later, she was ready to cut off the incessant ringing so she could return to her silent loathing.

Her legs were rigid as she struggled to the desk. She answered the phone with a voice that couldn't be her own. "Hello?"

Silence. Quistis made ready to slam the receiver down. Her anonymous caller spoke loud to her soul…

"The Phoenix will die in one form, but arise in another."


	9. Chapter 9

_"The Phoenix will die in one form, but arise in another…"_

Quistis froze with the receiver slipping in her grasp before she found the will to respond. An inkling of acknowledgement crept into her mind, planted there by an unknown force. A voice, colder than the one she owned, responded. "Dr. Kramer."

The Dean's wife. A remarkable, intelligent woman whom Quistis had come to admire in the few years she'd worked at the University. Quistis attended every meeting and lecture she held. Her perspectives on the fourth dimension and the null set were controversial and exciting. Instead of feeling perplexed at the cryptic message and impeccable timing of it, Quistis was annoyed. Very annoyed.

"I don't suppose I'll be meeting with you two anytime soon, will I?" The voice seeping into Quistis' ear was menacing in all of it's casualty.

"What is this about, Dr. Kramer?"

"Please, just call me Edea."

"Answer my question."

Instead of commenting on Quistis' attitude, the Dean's wife complied. "I just wanted to be sure Rinoa is all right."

Quistis' palm laid itself flat against the heat on her chest, where the Phoenix ring had burned into her heart. She allowed herself to remember. The ring dangling in the cleave of Rinoa's bosom. The ring clenched hard in Rinoa's grasp as she stared out the window. She could find bitter and angry words to expel towards this woman, meddling herself in other people's affairs, but to answer how Rinoa was at this moment? Well…

A noticeable span of time eclipsed before Quistis could will her lips to move. "Rinoa is…" Rinoa is what? A hundred of different feelings crossed her mind. Quistis knew how she felt. Though the words swelled on the tip of her tongue, she couldn't divulge them.

"Quistis. How about you come to my office? We need to talk."

Could anything Edea Kramer might have to say be urgent enough for Quistis to lay aside the ache in her heart? She doubted it, but as her heartbeat quickened to the beat of the Phoenix's wings flapping in her soul, she felt that she had to.

Instead of asking the obvious question _why_, Quistis found herself nodding and agreeing to meet Edea for lunch the next day.

She hung up the phone. For the first time since Rinoa left-hours, maybe days ago- Quistis looked around her apartment. The room already looked larger and lonelier than she remembered. Quistis sat on the white couch. The couch where Rinoa slept and dreamed. Here, she could spend her days with Quistis and her nights with Squall. Instead of being unnerved by the thought, Quistis felt a strange sense of peace. She thought of the day she caught Rinoa here, on the very cushion she was sitting on, with her arms spread out, daydreaming that she was sailing on a cloud in the heavens.

The fond memories swelled her chest until she thought she would burst. When she thought of all that had been done she imagined all that hadn't been, and might never be.

The yearning filled her once more and her lips trembled.

Rinoa's dark eyes. Filled with so much regret and pain. So much hope and life. It was still impossible to conceive how the two battling forces going on inside those onyx pupils could have given Quistis such joy. But they did, and Quistis wanted that feeling back. She wanted with such a fury she _needed_.

They had only just parted, but to Quistis it felt like a lifetime ago.

Although Quistis wasn't in her best state of mind, and she knew it, she got dressed to go out. She retreated into her bedroom, tearing open her closet and searching for a decent outfit to wear. After scavenging the ignored depths of her closet for over half an hour, she decided on a simple scarlet dress; trim-fitting with thin straps and a drooping neckline. She donned a pearl-drop necklace that sank between her breasts. Unsure of how to do her make-up, she lightly accentuated her lips and lashes. It was all she needed.

After slipping on her favorite pair of leather boots and zipping up her leather jacket, she looked at herself in the mirror. Quistis overlooked herself with nothing more than a numb expression. This was her outer beauty at its fullest, yet she felt like her own eyes were Seifer's. That mocking, judgmental stare.

"Who are you trying to fool, Quistis Trepe?"

Quistis grinned; for she already knew the answer to that question. It had worked, too, far better than she'd ever thought it would. All of her work comrades, as well as her students, were fooled into believing she was the epitome of collectivity. Nothing touched her; nothing could faze her. And because she was so good at it, somewhere along the way she began to believe it herself. Even when she was with Seifer, he was never able to dig deep enough to understand her thoughts and motives. He probably never cared to begin with, though. It was all just a game to him.

Then Rinoa came along, with her soft eyes and careless laughter. To this day, Quistis still couldn't figure out how Rinoa could see through her like a thin slice of glass. Her chocolate orbs were like a microscope; locating and amplifying ever detail hidden to the naked eye. Quistis usually shied away from people who asked too many questions and tried to get inside of her head. But what did she do? She let Rinoa into her life, into her soul, and find all the answers. In a way, Quistis was satisfied to know that there was one answer Rinoa didn't have. And that was the reason why.

Why is she so secured inside of herself? Quistis spared another glance into her vanity mirror and asked her reflection that question for the hundredth time. She didn't know the answer, really. When she was young it was a sort of game. To make others guess what she was thinking. There was a satisfaction in reserving her most private secrets deep inside of herself.

As she stared into her hollow eyes and empty expression, she wondered what Rinoa could possibly see in there. Because Quistis saw nothing.

After thoroughly depressing herself with her thoughts, Quistis checked her cell phone and noted the date. Satisfied that she knew what day of the week it was and hadn't lost all sense of sanity, she threw the cell phone down on the glass table and went to the only place she could think to go.

-----

The bar was quiet. Even quiet, she thought, for a Wednesday evening. A pair of men played a game of pool. The only other customer was a tall, lanky man removing a large-brimmed cowboy hat.

'Irvy,' Rinoa had called him on one of those evenings. That was how Quistis remembered who he was. She could see Rinoa's dark lips forming his name and then quirking into a grin after turning down his offer. He set his hat onto the counter, and slowly sipped at his beer. She noticed a thin auburn ponytail flowing down his back, reaching the base of his spine. Despite his height and width, he had soft features and an inviting smile. At the moment his smile was slight; lingering on his lips after each sip of his drink. Quistis wondered why he was nursing his drink so, until she followed his line of sight and discovered why he was distracted.

Rinoa's co-worker behind the bar. She wore her hair in the same strange bob, with a sunshine yellow mesh shirt. Irvine was watching her intently, with a gaze that held something more than pure desire.

Rinoa said that although he was a shameless womanizer, he was harmless. And because Quistis trusted the younger girl's judgment better than her own, she comfortably sat a few stools down the counter from him. His gaze on the bartender didn't defer, so Quistis looked down at the counter and stared into her empty palms.

She thought many things, yet all of them were about Rinoa. She wondered if Rinoa had told that girl her name, because on the night that Quistis took Rinoa home she'd known it. _"You're Quistis… aren't you?"_ Why would Rinoa tell her co-worker about her? Wondering why Rinoa would speak of her to someone else drove her to wonder exactly what Rinoa thought of her. Was she so enthralled by the older, stubborn, and quite sad professor that she told her friend all about the few exchanges they'd had?

Quistis almost gained some hope at the thoughts. Just as the happiness threatened to leap into her chest, a deep pit of despair widened beneath her feet.

"Hey Quistis. Can I get you a drink?"

She looked up from her palms to see the bartender giving her a warm smile of recognition. She was so cheerful, Quistis felt sick to her stomach.

"Yes, please." As the bartender pulled out a glass Quistis spoke again. "I'm sorry, what is your name?"

A fake frown of disappointment crossed her bright features. She released an animated sigh. "Rinny never told you my name? Some friend she is." She continued pouring shot after shot into the highball glass. "Anyway, my name's Selphie."

Selphie smiled and offered Quistis the glass. "Long Island iced tea. Enjoy."

Quistis nodded in response. Sometime amidst their conversation, Irvy-the-cowboy had abandoned his seat to stand beside Quistis and eavesdrop on their conversation. The two women noticed him at the same time. Quistis glanced at him out of the corner of her eye without a word, while Selphie placed her hand on her hips.

"Irvine, why are you staring at Quistis like that?"

Irvine smiled and offered his gloved hand to Quistis. "I thought I recognized you from somewhere before. You were here that night talkin' to Heartilly, right? My name is Irvine Kinneas. Nice to meet ya."

Not finding any harm in returning the gesture, Quistis reached out and shook his hand. It was damp from grasping his wet beer.

Selphie groaned. "God Irvy. We've been dating for less than a week and you're hitting on other girls already." A hint of a smile crossed her sudden frown.

"What's wrong with formally introducing myself?" Irvine gave a helpless shrug.

"Irvy, go sit back down. We need to have some girl talk." Selphie shooed him away playfully. He retreated back to his stool, but not before turning his head and giving Quistis a sly wink.

As Irvine strolled away, Selphie leaned across the counter and spoke in a hushed volume. "How's Rinoa been, since… y'know? Whenever I get the courage to ask her about it, she doesn't give me a straight answer. Is she okay?"

Quistis moved her eyes from Selphie's inquisitive stare to her glass. A lemon slice was wedged onto the rim. A memory at once too real and too painful stabbed at her heart. Rinoa's lips surrounding a naked lemon peel. The bright color drawing attention to her pink lips as they curled into a smile.

Remembering that Selphie had asked her a question, Quistis shrugged.

"Well, she is hard to read, that Rinny. Actually, her and I…" Selphie's voice tapered. "Where is she, anyway?"

Quistis shrugged again. "Beats me." She managed to whisper. Her lips began to go soft, so she committed herself to sucking from her straw in hopes that Selphie wouldn't notice the trembling.

Unbothered, Selphie prattled on. "Well, like I said, it's hard to figure out what she's thinking. I've known her for years, we went to high school together, and all I could ever figure out was her devotion to Squall. They were really good for each other, y'know. No one would've ever thought so- with them being such complete opposites and all. It's really too bad…" A genuine look of concern crossed Selphie's face. She looked up at Quistis and grinned. "I never thought she'd get over the loss, but with the way she talks about you nonstop at work any one would think that the two of you…"

Selphie's eyes light up. The thoughts going through her head were as plain as day. Quistis felt the objections to Selphie's accusations about their relationship leaping to her tongue, but she couldn't bring herself to speak. Instead, her cheeks responded by flushing deep crimson.

"You guys didn't- I mean, you aren't…?" Selphie's mouth gaped open after she spoke, impatiently waiting for Quistis' answer.

Quistis sucked heavily from her straw until her glass was empty and her stomach felt full. Her thoughts began to feel fuzzy. "No we haven't. We're not…." Afraid of losing herself right there in the bar, Quistis looked down at the counter and pushed the empty glass away from herself. "Fill me up. Please."

Selphie was hushed for a brief moment. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet and concerned. "There's five shots in one of those, y'know… Take your time with this one, okay?"

Quistis barely heard those words. Her mind was away, distant from the pains and annoyances of the world. She was shut away inside of her apartment, with Rinoa, revealing all of her personal secrets in a lighthearted game of Truth or Dare.

Though her thoughts were elsewhere, her hands managed to hold onto her glass and bring the drink to her lips. She continued to sip as fast as she could, purposely defying Selphie's request.

The alcohol brought about a sense of braveness to her aching heart. Quistis emptied the glass in record time and set it on the counter. "Selphie… do me a favor."

Selphie stole a wary glance to Irvine who only shrugged in response. "Sure Quistis. What?"

"Ask Rinoa that question. I'd like to know the answer to that myself," Quistis spoke without slurring as much as one syllable. The alcohol brought color to her cheeks and an edge of attitude to her voice, but she still spoke smoothly.

Selphie arched her left eyebrow with an amused expression. "Oh, so that's what's going on?" she giggled and wrenched the empty glass from Quistis' hands. "Sure, I'll ask her. Rinny does like to be mysterious when it comes to her own emotions."

"No kidding," Quistis responded sardonically. Selphie began to turn around to dispose of the dirty cup, but she intercepted and snatched off the lemon wedge. Selphie chuckled and watched as an extremely tipsy blond devoured the sour yellow flesh.

"Selphie… Glass of Jolt, please." Quistis was looking down into her palms again.

The cheery barmaid glanced up at the clock. "Quistis, you've had, like, ten shots in fifteen minutes." Selphie was reluctant, but she began mixing the drink. She may be dense when it comes to other people's emotions, but working at a bar gave her a sixth sense about this sort of thing. She knew when someone really needed a drink.

"Keep it up girlfriend and I'll be calling you a taxi," Selphie grinned and set the glass of Jolt in front of Quistis.

"Why call a taxi when I can take Quistis home for free?" Irvine offered with a suggestive grin.

Selphie rolled her eyes. "Ignore him."

"I have been." Quistis sipped at her third drink. It was good, but not as good as the one Rinoa made her.

"Quistis… I know you don't really know me or anything… but I know you enough from listening to Rinoa babble on about you for hours. And the Quistis that Rinoa knows doesn't drink unless she is very upset about something…" Quistis sat in silence, acting as though she hadn't picked up the hint. "So… is something the matter?" Selphie took a deep, cautious breath. "Where's Rinoa?"

"Living with her demons." Quistis' head swirled as she tried to speak. She wasn't sure if the words came out, but Selphie nodded and took away another empty glass. The blond pushed away at the bar. She stood upright without falling over, but her barstool thumped down on the ground behind her. Irvine immediately got up and began to upright her stool, but Quistis was already on her way out.

"Want me to go get her?" he asked.

Selphie looked down on the counter. Quistis had abandoned her leather jacket, and also dropped two twenties beside the bare lemon peel. "Could you make sure she doesn't get in her car?"

Irvine ran out the bar entrance, and spotted Quistis' sagging blond head walking away from the bar. Unsure of what else to do, he went inside and reported to his new girlfriend.

Selphie nodded. "According to Rinny, she lives in the expensive high rises around the corner. She'll be fine." She grabbed a fresh washcloth and began wiping down the spot where Quistis had been sitting. "Wait until the next time I see Rinny…"

----

Quistis didn't know if she drove, took a taxi, or hitchhiked. All she knew was that she was standing, cold and quite drunk, inside of her apartment. Without getting changed or removing her jewelry, she plopped herself onto the couch and buried her face into the pillow, trying her damnedest to inhale Rinoa's scent. To relive the memory of the young girl sleeping, her raven hair sprawled over the pillow in waves, silently moving her lips as she dreamed all of her unspoken desires. Quistis thought that if she laid her head where Rinoa had, she would see anything Rinoa had ever wanted.

When Quistis closed her eyes, all she saw was Rinoa's bright smile. In her grief and sadness, Quistis swore to herself that she wouldn't find peace in slumber tonight. She would lay awake, molding her likeness to Rinoa's form imprinted in the cushions, and cradle herself until the night was over. The struggle proved to be in vain, for as the minutes passed and the alcohol made its way into her brain, a long and peaceful sleep claimed her.

Quistis dreamt of nothing that night.


	10. Chapter 10

Time changed nothing.

She stood in the open doorway of his apartment. Their apartment. The living room was as empty and full as the day she left. Rinoa shook her head in amazement and disdain. She hadn't _left_, she just never got around to coming back.

Squall's favorite chair leaned against the peeling wallpaper on the far side of the room, opposite the television. Both of which were the only noticeable pieces of furniture in the abandoned excuse for a living room. They were coated in dust. Rinoa approached the chair. Fighting off every growing memory involving this spot, she swiped a finger against the armrest. Dust fell off in moist clumps.

Even though dust floated in the stale air of the apartment and there had been no ventilation for at least a month, his scent still lingered. The floor was cold. Rinoa almost swooned. She hated herself then.

She hated herself for leaving. Whether intentionally or not. She received the call, ran through the apartment unplugging, uninstalling, and throwing every loose item out the window. It was raining household appliances for the neighbors who happened to be outdoors at the time. After purging their apartment of anything not too large to lift that faintly resembled a remote memory, she was gone.

Rinoa did not leave. She ran. The only place she knew where to go. Rinoa was supposed to be working behind the counter, but instead she was behind the closet door, trying to cry herself to oblivion. That was when Quistis arrived.

Her memory stopped with the arrival. She felt dirty. Blasphemous, to settle her thoughts on that woman while standing here, basking in the leftovers of love. Chills jolted up her spine as she felt Squall's shadow settling permanently over her. He had always been with her while she ran away from the grief. While Rinoa slept and dreamt in Quistis' apartment, Squall's subtle smile was on her. Over time his impression faded until their life together felt like a novel, read so long ago that all she could recall were the character's names and her reaction when she found out the story was over.

That hurt the most.

Rinoa inhaled the old air and dust and held it inside of her lungs until she could stand it no longer. A deep, full cough left her lungs. The dirt and the betrayal she carried around with her came out. Her throat lurched and a her stomach retched, but nothing came out. She glared at the window she threw half of their apartment out of, but left it shut as well as the curtains covering it. No, she would endure in the state she decided to flee him from.

The hardwood floor froze her feet down. She slid her shoes off, then tore the socks from them as well. Rinoa had to fight off every natural urge to jerk her bare flesh from the coldness. Next came the blazer. She stripped the jacket and tossed it to the floor. Following came every article of clothing she still owned, except for the Phoenix ring suspended on the chain. A pastel blue blouse, pair of black denim, and plain cotton underwear made a pile on the floor.

Rinoa sat in Squall's recliner for a brief moment before lifting her legs and curling her body into a ball. With her head turned and cheek resting on her knees, she did not give one thought to the goosebumps covering her flesh.

Hundreds of other thoughts plagued her mind. Every happy memory she used to cling to for comfort came again as a damning curse. Rinoa knew it was all in her head. These repercussions. Guilt transformed every minute of joy into an unbearable sadness. His arms around her body, his faint smile, his stormy blue eyes.

His eyes. Never had Rinoa dreamt that his eyes would arouse such sadness in her heart. She closed her dark orbs, brimming over with hollow tears, and thought of him.

------

"Rinoa." A whisper nuzzled into the back of her head. She leaned back into him while sitting on his lap in his favorite chair. Trim, muscular arms enveloped her naked frame from behind. Rinoa wriggled her bare bottom against his thighs with a quiet laugh. She felt the sweat still coating his skin. Rinoa loved the beads of sweat covering his skin while they made love. His milky skin would glisten and his muscles flex. Squall always leaned his face down towards hers, purposely putting his wavy brown hair in her eyes. He was a quiet and taciturn man. Little actions like those showed her what was truly going on inside of his mind.

His arms tightened around her in an attempt to stop the butt-waggling.

"I leave tomorrow." He spoke louder this time, making sure she heard.

"I haven't forgotten." Rinoa responded. The warm sweat dampening her lower back felt cold. Squall told her the day he received his notice. All Rinoa did was nod, embrace him, and continue on with the day. No word had been said of it since. It was too difficult to speak on, and anyway, she did not want to ruin every special moment by crying over his departure.

Now it could not be ignored.

She clutched the ring dangling on her necklace. The cold metal between her breasts began to sting. "I'll take care of everything. The apartment will be just as you left it. No, it'll be better. I'll finally dust the tops of those shelves and mop the kitchen floor. I might sneak Angelo into the apartment for some company, though. I know the landlord will be mad if she finds out, but I really miss him. And I don't trust my father to take care of him. He's a big dog, he really needs to be walked a few times a week."

Squall managed a slight nod behind her back. She was acting like he'd only be gone for a week. "What about that girl you work with? Selphie?"

Rinoa nodded. "Yeah, Selphie. She can come over."

The inside of Squall's chest tightened. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead into the empty space between Rinoa's shoulder blades. Silence elapsed; for the longest time Rinoa found nothing to say. It was an awkward moment for Squall, hearing nothing but the air entering and leaving her lungs and feeling the dull beat of her heart inside her chest. He only had opportunities like this while she slept.

Rinoa eventually turned her upper half around to look at his face. She lifted a weak arm and traced the faint scar that marred his forehead in a clean-cut, diagonal line across the bridge of his nose. In all the time they had been together she never once spoke of it, only curiously touched it. He never explained.

"Squall," his eyes were on her lips, "how did you get this?"

He grabbed her hand and moved it down to her lap. The word dangled on his lips. She filled with dread before he even spoke it.

"Seifer."

An image of the tall, confident man Quistis introduced her to passed through Rinoa's mind as she stared, disbelieving, at her lover. Rage grew inside of him, almost as if he could see that horrible man in her memory. "You know him, don't you?" His voice hardened. Demanded.

Rinoa shook her head. "Squall, I don't understand."

"I think you do," he challenged. "Seifer… and his girlfriend."

The unrelenting focus in his cloudy blue eyes chilled her bones. She almost tried to get off of his lap before she felt the strength of his hold on her bare wrists. The shock vibrated through her body. Unsure of what to say or how to react, she met his gaze and took a deep breath.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I saw the way you looked at her."

"I know," she turned her eyes away from him. That simple statement took away all the fight she had in her. Squall had every right to be upset. "I'm sorry. I was lonely, and-"

Before Rinoa could register what was happening, she felt a thin tightness gripping her throat. One of Squall's hands left her wrists and was now pulling on her necklace by the Phoenix. Despite the growing sense of asphyxiation, Rinoa did not struggle. She looked back into his eyes. He was pleading with her. Infinite blue sadness overcame him as he threatened her.

"How could you, Rinoa?"

"You left me! You left me all alone!" No sooner did the words leave her mouth did she regret them.

His face contorted into something she did not recognize at all. A beast of fury, the Griever, roared as he lunged at Rinoa. Both hands were aiming for her throat.

"Squall, please! I'm sorry! I'm-"

----

Rinoa awoke from the violent dream with a tremendous pain in her backside. The walls were still vibrating from her fall. The dusty recliner swung back and forth behind her, relieved to be free from the weight.

"Hey, Rinny! Are you okay?" A voice screamed from the other side of the living room door. The visitor continued to pound until receiving a response.

Barely able to keep her eyes open, Rinoa struggled to her feet and dragged herself to the door. One hand was on her bruised behind, while the other touched her neck. Squall's angry hands still lingered there. Swallowing was painful.

The door opened with a rusty creak. On the other side of it was Rinoa's co-worker and friend.

Instead of acting grateful for the distraction from her unpleasant sleep, Rinoa grumbled. "Selphie, it's early."

Selphie knew a person in bad shape when she saw one. Rinoa looked horrible. Her hair was tousled and knotty, her eyes looked like they hadn't rested in a week even though she just woke up, and her skin was coated in a mixture of sweat and dirt. Beneath that, she was naked.

"Uh. Rin, it's two in the afternoon. You've got two hours until your shift. I thought you might wanna hang out until then."

Rinoa rubbed her dreary eyes and yawned the entire time Selphie spoke. She found it hard to believe that it was afternoon already. If that were true, then she had been in that chair for a long time. A very long time. No wonder her joints were stiffer than a sheet of wood. She mumbled something that sounded like "All right" before Selphie pushed herself into the apartment and shut the door behind her.

Selphie's nose crinkled at the smell and texture of the air. "Well, it's a good thing I didn't bring Irvy," she commented, nodding her head down to Rinoa's exposed body.

If Rinoa were more attentive or less distracted, she would have at least been slightly embarrassed. She offered no explanation or apology; just bent down to the pile of clothes beside the only chair in the apartment and began putting them back on.

"Why don't you take a shower or something? I don't mind waiting, ya know."

Rinoa shook her head as she slid her arms into her white bra and began clasping it shut against her back. "Can't. No heat."

"It is cold. Here, I'll open the curtains. It's really warm outside today." Selphie took a step towards the curtains blocking the warm sunlight.

"No," Rinoa interjected. Selphie looked at her, waiting for an explanation while Rinoa slid a pair of denim pants on. No explanation followed, of course.

"What did you have in mind?" Rinoa asked once she was fully clothed.

Selphie grinned. She lost a hand into her big, bright yellow purse, and pulled out two envelopes. One had "Selphie Tilmitt" typed on the front, and the other read "Rinoa Heartilly."

"It's pay day, silly! I thought we'd go shopping." Selphie handed Rinoa her paycheck.

"Right. Pay day." Rinoa could not stop the curve of her lips. She glanced down to the dirty clothes on her body. This was the only outfit she had not lost or abandoned.

"I could use some clothes."

Selphie nodded. Satisfied, she followed Rinoa out of the apartment with more than a single glance at the dingy room behind them. Selphie took a deep breath of determination. It was time to make Rinoa talk. Sure, the brunette had never been the forceful kind, or particularly deep for that matter, but she was easy to talk to and had a big heart. By the end of their short shopping spree, Rinoa would be begging her friend to share the burdens weighing down her shoulders.

At least, that's what Selphie hoped.

The two women walked side by side out of the apartment complex. Selphie turned to Rinoa with a grin before sprinting ahead towards a car that Rinoa had never seen before.

"That's not your car, Selphie," Rinoa's voice came out as more than a question than an answer. She knew without a doubt that it couldn't be hers, but Selphie was pulling out a set of keys and seemed awfully serious. Rinoa was starting to think that she was still dreaming.

"It's damn near mine now!" Selphie piped. She pressed a button on her key ring and gave Rinoa an approving nod when the car unlocked with a light beep of its horn and flicker of the headlights.

"Don't tell me…"

"Yep! Irvy let me borrow it. Come on, get in." Selphie settled herself into the driver's seat.

Rinoa did not know much about cars. But she did know that this was the most expensive car she'd seen in a long time. Not to count the most expensive car she'd ever rode in. It was a convertible of some sort; curvy, shiny, and judging from the stick shift it was a sports car. The vehicle was also Selphie's favorite color.

"Does this mean Irvy's driving around your hunk of junk?" Rinoa joked as she opened the door and sat down beside Selphie. "There's no way he can pick up girls in that."

"Haven't I always told you that there's a method to my madness?" Selphie laughed at her own joke. Rinoa joined in because she had to.

When the car pulled out of the parking lot and into the street, a thought came to Rinoa. "Uh Selphie? I thought you didn't know how to drive standard."

"Irvy taught me this morning."

"Oh." That was the most uncomforting thing Selphie had ever said to her.

As they drove to the nearest used clothing store, Selphie reached her arm around to the backseat. Rinoa nervously extended her hand to grab the steering wheel as their car veered into the left lane. "What are you doing?" she called over the wind gushing through the car and pounding against her ears.

"Here," Selphie yelled as she threw a heavy item onto Rinoa's lap. She knew what it was and who it belonged to without a second glance. "Quistis left it at the bar last night."

Rinoa's throat constricted at the thought of saying her name. "Quistis was at the bar last night?"

"Yeah," Selphie said loudly before they reached a stop light. The only noise to talk over was the purr of the engine. "She left it on a stool. Will you give it back to her for me?"

Rinoa laid her hand upon the black jacket. The leather was sturdy. She sighed and found herself wondering how much Quistis spent on this little luxury. Selphie kept her head turned toward the road, but she was watching Rinoa's reaction out of the corner of her eye to see if she could pick up any hints.

"Well?" Selphie finally asked.

"I can't make any promises." The words came out as a joke, but the solemn expression plastered on Rinoa's face looked anything but jovial.

"So where did all of your stuff go?"

Rinoa shook her head as she cradled the leather jacket against her chest. Selphie wasn't the most discreet person she knew. "I got rid of it all. Mostly."

"How do you live there? You said there isn't even any heat."

The uncomfortable silence that followed was the biggest hint Selphie knew she would get all day. "Ah huh."

"'Ah huh' what?" Rinoa countered. She looked down at the jacket again, unsure of how she felt. Besides the guilt and the pain shrouding her tenfold after the upsetting dream, she did not have any reaction towards Selphie's peering. What would Selphie assume when she found out Rinoa was living with Quistis? What would she say? Maybe she already knew and was waiting for Rinoa to come out and say so. Rinoa sighed to herself. She was wasting her thoughts on something that did not matter anymore.

"You've been staying with Quistis, haven't you?" Selphie asked in a singsong voice. She seemed thrilled that her guess was correct. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Rinoa offered a shrug. "What does it matter?"

Selphie snorted. "Ya know what, Rinny?" she pulled up against the curb outside of their favorite thrift store, but made no move to get out until her rant was finished. "You always used to go on and on about how Squall was so quiet and never wanted to talk about any personal stuff. And then when you became friends with Quistis, you talked about how mysterious and reserved she always is. But you're just like them. No. I take that back. You're worse than them! At least they're honest about it. They're upfront about their insecurities. Proud, maybe, but not deceitful like you are. You like to let people think you're being totally open with them when you're not! It's just…" Selphie huffed and threw Irvine's car keys into her bright purse. "You need to stop."

Rinoa's eyes never left the jacket clenched against her chest. As she processed the accusations coming from her friend, thoughts from the past filled her. Every time Squall averted his eyes whenever she asked a question he had no intention of answering. Quistis' nervous posture whenever Rinoa drew herself inside her personal comfort sphere. They never smiled when they were feeling down. They did not give casual answers to haunting issues of the past. They weren't hypocrites, like her.

Rinoa turned to Selphie. A rush of invigoration surged through her. She smiled. "Thanks, Selphie. I needed that."

"I know," Selphie grinned. She got out of the car and stood on the sidewalk. "Now let's shop!"

------

After spending most of their paychecks on new used clothing, Selphie dropped Rinoa off at the bar for her shift. Drawing Quistis' jacket close to her body, Rinoa went in for work. The extra length was obvious; the jacket reached past her waist and the sleeves extended over her fingertips, but Rinoa wore it during her shift anyway.

As she went through the routine cleaning chores and preparations for the late night, she reflected on all the events of the last few days and what she would do about them. She had made a conscious decision to leave Quistis. Facing what she left behind and the man she tried to move beyond too early was imperative, she knew. But what was she hoping to gain? Rinoa thought she would be enlightened, or at least reach some sense of resolution. Gloom and desolation met her instead.

"I'd be fine if it wasn't for that dream," Rinoa muttered to herself as she swept the floor around the barstools. Squall- or maybe it was just her subconscious mind- was trying to reach out and warn her. Or harm her. Maybe it was her memories, begging not to be forgotten. And anyway, why should Squall be jealous of Quistis, even if he was watching over them now. Rinoa was unsure of her feelings about the afterlife, but if Squall's spirit was surrounding her in that apartment, she did not like how it felt in her mind and underneath her skin.

She shivered.

The apartment was cold and dirty. Nothing like it should have been. Yet as she stood in the doorway of their home for the first time in over a month, everything was the same. Every touch, every word, every smile; they were all there, hidden beneath layers of dust and neglect.

Rinoa never had time to decide upon a conclusive set of actions. A fist pounding against the counter shook her from all thought.

"Hey wake up. I want to talk."

Each muscle connecting to her spine tightened. In an instant the dream she spent all day trying to ignore came swarming back. She turned around. "Surprised to see you here."

"Like I said, I want to talk."

As if teasing him, Rinoa glanced around the lonely bar. They were the only souls in the place. She crossed her arms and leaned against the bar counter. "To me, I presume?"

"No kidding." He sat down on the closest stool and stared her down.

"What do you want, Seifer?" In her dream his name poured like filth from her lover's lips.

He leaned forward. His eyes, blue and piercing, reminded Rinoa of two other distinct people that began melding into one face. She could smell his breath. Sweet and rancid, like sour strawberry milkshake. Despite the close proximity, Rinoa was lost to any hint of domination or desire. This worried her more than his demeanor when they first met.

"I want you to tell me about my brother."

Rinoa could not help the hissing laughter. "Huh? What on earth are you talking about? You've got the wrong girl."

Seifer's pale features never faltered. "You lived with him."

"It can't be…" Rinoa gasped. "The Rival?"


	11. Chapter 11

Disbelief flooded Rinoa's senses. She wanted to tell herself that it was impossible for Rival to have been underneath her nose for so long. There was no way she had not picked up even a single hint. But he was here and his eyes were not lying.

As Seifer stared at her puzzled expression Squall's face came to mind. She cupped the side of his face. Her index finger traced the permanent line scarring his photographic face. His thin lips curled into a snarl as his rival's name grated between his teeth.

Seifer. Finding a concrete meaning in her disturbing dream brought a small sense of relief, but the questions it raised drowned it in confusion. "You're Rival." Those were the only words she managed to say.

Seifer paid no attention to her bewilderment. "Still called me that until the day he died, huh?" Satisfaction crossed his smug grin. "Stubborn little brat."

Rinoa crossed her arms in distaste. "Look. If you came here to insult my deceased boyfriend, get lost. I'm not in the mood." She turned to find cleaning chores to attend to, but Seifer would not be ignored. He reached over the counter with his long arm and held her in place.

"I said I was here for information."

Rinoa shrugged his hand away. Her palms went into the air. "Well what do you want to know? His favorite color? Favorite food?"

"Stop being bitchy and get me a beer." Seifer relaxed in his barstool and retained his confident demeanor. Looking at Seifer calmly sitting there so full of himself even though he was the one coming here begging for information made Rinoa want to gag. Squall hadn't disliked him for the same reasons Rinoa was beginning to, but she felt closer to him all the same.

Rinoa decided to comply. Seifer was being an outright bastard, but in giving information perhaps she could gain some as well. Instead of asking what specific brand he wanted, she took the liberty of deciding for him. After sliding the filled mug across the counter, she leaned down and glared. "So talk."

Seifer grinned and Rinoa rolled her eyes. How he got off with such a tense atmosphere, she would never know. "How much did he tell you about his life besides whining about his mean brother?"

Rinoa never thought she could stand to listen to someone insult Squall like this. She bit her tongue. If anything was to be learned tonight, complaining about everything Seifer said would get her nowhere.

"Well," she rubbed her left earlobe in thought, "He told me that he was adopted. His brother was also adopted. Of course he never told me your name, just referred to you as 'Rival.' Umm… I know the Kramers are your adopted parents. Since Squall was fond of them we met quite a few times for dinner and stuff."

Rinoa hung her head at the thought. Squall's adopted parents were wonderful, intelligent people. The only thing cuter than Rinoa's love for Edea was Squall's. Whenever they visited, he seemed to glow with her arrival. Squall was ten years younger in his mother's presence. Her affection and flattery brought the most adorable blush to his cheeks and passion in his smile.

"Did you tell Quistis?"

"No. It was too hard to think about when I found out." Rinoa remembered the day Dr. Trepe received the personal letter from Edea Kramer, requesting a rendezvous with them. She secretly assumed she knew the intentions behind it. Edea had somehow discovered Rinoa was living with Quistis. She mostly likely had a few things to ask her. Rinoa hadn't been ready to speak about his death at the time, so she continually found ways to distract Quistis from the proposition.

Seifer chuckled. "You didn't tell Quistis that she was working for your dead lover's parents? How ironic."

Rinoa arched an eyebrow and spoke as Seifer chugged his drink. "What are you getting at?"

"I never told her that the old cronies were my adopted parents either." His chest shook beneath the buttons on his crimson shirt and drab gray overcoat.

Rinoa could not help but challenge him. "You dated her for over a year and you never told her who your parents were? What's wrong with you?"

"None of that matters in the end, does it? Quistis was on a need-to-know basis, just as I was to her. She never asked, so I never told."

"Or you still hold a grudge against them for taking another child under their wing. Squall told me about your jealousy, Seifer. About how you turned him into a rival instead of a brother."

Rinoa did not anticipate the following mood swing. Seifer slammed his empty mug on the table. The entire counter vibrated under the impact. "You think you know enough to judge me? Is that how it was? He cried to you every night about how mean and abusive some faceless person was to him and you think you can judge me? Our relationship doesn't mean anything to you!"

Seifer was on his feet now. Angry and raw. His voice grew so loud that Rinoa thought a neighbor might call the cops. She secretly hoped no customers would show up anytime soon.

"That's not true," Rinoa took a deep breath, "It affected him, so it affected me too. You have no idea how much he regretted it. How much it pained him to be the divider in the only family he ever had. Squall wanted your approval and your love."

He was on her in an instant. Sparks flew as he leapt from his seat to constrain her in a rage Rinoa did not understand. Rival burned his anger into her wide eyes until all she saw was red.

"Listen here, you little slut. Don't you ever, _ever_ try to tell me that you know him better than I do. He lived for the battle. Our competition gave him meaning. It gave him a purpose. He devoted every waking thought to thwarting me and making me feel like an outcast in my own home! Whenever Edea invited him to her lap or stroked his hair, he turned to me and smiled in victory and satisfaction. So don't you dare try to tell me that my malice pained him!"

Rinoa could barely take the necessary amount of oxygen into her lungs. She needed to speak. She owed at least that much to Squall. To reveal the truth to his brother when he could not.

"Seifer… listen. That's not… true. Squall wanted your love, just… just as he wanted to love you. Why…? Why can't you understand?" Rinoa hissed.

"Enough!" Seifer roared. He pulled Rinoa closer by her throat. Putrid breath filled her nostrils once again. She tried not to wince. A calm aura flowed through her blood. Rinoa was surprised at her relaxation. _Seifer won't really hurt me._

And if he did, would she truly care at this point?

"Tell me where they are!" Seifer commanded. He used one strong arm to shake the information out of her.

Rinoa choked. "Wh-who?"

"Squall's real family. I need to know where they are."

Before Rinoa could respond, a voice crooned from the doorway.

"That's no way to ask a lady a question."

Rinoa had no time to gather her wits and determine the intruder's identity before she was jerked from Seifer's grasp. She fell behind the counter, grasping her throat for air at the same time Seifer's body thumped to the floor on the opposite side of the bar.

"Irvine!" A familiar voiced hailed somewhere in the distance. Rinoa felt disoriented from the short lack of oxygen. Loud scuffling continued beyond her sight. She reached her arms up in an attempt to grab the countertop and pull herself up. Rinoa did not need to. Selphie ran to her side and helped.

Rinoa sighed when she finally saw what the two men were doing. "Neither of them are drunk and they're in a bar fight. This is ridiculous."

Seifer growled through his puffy lips. "Why don't you mind your own business, cowboy? I'd hate to hurt you."

"But it's okay to harass a young lady?" Irvine began stripping his long brown leather jacket. "Now that, I cannot accept."

Despite Irvine's half grin and lanky stride, Rinoa could tell he was serious. Irvine straightened his purple vest before lunging at Seifer. Irvine swung his fist, but Seifer ducked in time and drove his fist into the cowboy's gut. Irvine stumbled, but did not fall into the trick of bending over to give his opponent an open face shot. He faltered a few steps backward and took a different approach. As Seifer came in with another punch geared towards his face, Irvine dropped to the floor and swept his long legs around. His shin came in contact with Seifer's ankles and he tumbled.

Seifer was not about to fall so easily. In a flash, he managed to grab the shoulders of Irvine's vest. As Seifer fell, he yanked Irvine up, and pressed the flat of his feet against his purple chest. With the momentum of his fall, Seifer was able to propel Irvine over him, and into the air.

"Irvy!" Selphie gasped as her boyfriend's short flight abruptly ended on top of the pool table. Most of the hard pool balls were hidden somewhere underneath his back. Rinoa watched the eight ball land on the floor. Irvine was laying down on the pool table, staring at the ceiling. His long limbs draped over the four corners of his resting place.

Rinoa and Selphie both bit their lips. They feared he was not getting up. He could have injured his spine if a pool ball hit it in the right place. The fight seemed over.

"You're lighter than I expected," Seifer scowled as he sauntered to the side of the pool table. "Flew like a bird."

"The ladies like me lean," Irvine commented as he grabbed Seifer by his gray tie and flung him across the pool table. Seifer was once again on the floor, and Irvine took the chance to return to his feet. He rolled off of the table and stood straight. A painful grimace crossed his face as he stretched. His back popped in multiple places but he made no vocal complaint.

"They need to stop this," Rinoa whispered to Selphie. Her friend bobbed in agreement, but neither of them were willing to get between the two combatants.

As Seifer stumbled to his feet, he swiped a metal barstool.

"Stop!" Selphie cried from behind the counter.

Neither of the men seemed concerned. In a tornado of fury, Seifer swung the barstool by the seat so that the metal legs crashed against his opponent's ribcage. Irvine took the hit. Then the second, then the third. Finally, once he internalized the rhythm, Irvine grabbed the two closest legs as they were zoning in to his chest and held on. He gripped with all of his strength. With white knuckles, the two men struggled against the other for possession of the barstool.

Seconds passed. The scuffle of their feet and loud grunts of physical exertion were the only sounds in the bar. Irvine was beginning to feel weak. The pain in his back began overpowering his reflexes. In a short moment of withdrawal, Seifer took the chance and pressed Irvine against the bar counter. Irvine bent backwards, knocking over Seifer's empty beer stein. The countertop groaned under his weight.

Irvine grinned inside. Seifer was right where he wanted him. While Seifer was focusing all his strength to his arms, Irvine gathered all the leg strength he had left. Just as Irvine looked to be giving up, he concentrated every ounce of energy he could gather into his legs and kicked.

Seifer took the blunt of the blow and fell to the floor once more.

Irvine came down upon him without mercy.

The injured playboy pounced on Seifer before the fallen man could begin to rise. He brought the barstool down again and again, intent on beating the harasser to a bloody pulp.

Rinoa could take it no longer. While Irvine was on the offensive, she leapt over the counter and pulled as hard as she could on the back of his silk vest. "Irvine stop! No more, please."

Irvine's arms were glad to drop the barstool. Finished, he turned to Rinoa with concern. His face was coated in sweat and blood. Who the blood belonged to was anyone's guess.

"Are you sure? Do you really want him to walk away?"

"Yes." Rinoa's jaw was firm. Satisfied that Irvine had no plans to fight any longer, Rinoa turned to Seifer. The damage was done. His suit was tattered and torn in several places, as was his skin. The beating he took with the barstool was already pouring from his wounds and blotting into deep bruises. He looked broken.

Despite the violent way Seifer had been treating her minutes ago, Rinoa needed to help him. While Selphie attended to Irvine, Rinoa bent down in front of Seifer. She reached for one of his hands, but when he opened his eyes she knew he would be accepting no charity tonight.

After pushing her outstretched hand away, Seifer began the process of returning to his feet. Despite the obvious severity of his wounds she did not hear one moan. The two men stared each other down. Irvine's muscles tensed. He was ready for retaliation.

Rinoa knew there would be no further confrontations. Seifer was a proud man. He walked out before appearing any more vulnerable than he already was.

Squall's brother. Edea and Cid's son. Quistis' ex-lover. Rinoa watched as the man began his exit.

"Wait. Rival." He continued walking despite her calls. "I really don't know their names."

He paused then. Seifer's swollen face turned to look at Rinoa. She felt his gaze lower to her chest before concentrating on her eyes. "Maybe you should look harder."

Seifer stumbled into the night and was gone.

"What was that all about?" Selphie chirped. Irvine was sitting on a barstool while Selphie cleaned the cuts on his face. "Who was that guy?"

Rinoa's face dropped to her chest. The Phoenix ring suspended between her breasts. She held it up into the closest ceiling light, and studied it more intently than she ever had before. Despite all the hours she spent staring at the ring, thinking of Squall, she never once saw what stood out now.

"How can this be?" Rinoa gasped. "All this time. And I never even noticed?"

Selphie arched an eyebrow. "Noticed what?"

Rinoa glared at the inside of the silver band. The engraving inside of the Phoenix ring stopped her breath. "I can't believe it."

The names of three people she never met. Now, she felt that she knew them so intimately her heart began to flutter.

_Love,_

_Laguna, Raine, & Ellone._

Rinoa could not take her eyes off of the engraving she had somehow overlooked for years.

She took a deep breath and made her decision. "I need to see Edea."

-------

The woman sitting across from her was a wonder. Quistis had spent much of her professional career trying to figure her out. She was a mathematical genius. The definition of educated. Looking at her soft features maturing to middle-age, anyone who passed her on the street would never guess she had dozens of texts published on mathematical theories. Quistis read ever one of them. Ranging from the chaos theory to time travel, Edea studied and wrote them all.

She was a thin, meek looking woman. Sometimes Quistis swore she could have appeared straight from the middle ages with her dark, flowing skirts and long hair styled so that half of it was pinned back while the rest of it flowed straight down her back. On this particular afternoon she wore an ankle-length black ruffled skirt and a plain black shirt as well. Quistis also noticed a pentagon necklace boldly displayed above her top. She personally had no real opinion about what that pendant represented, but for the Dean's wife to be wearing it. Well, Quistis supposed that it would not cause much besides talk since Edea Kramer was the Dean's esteemed wife. Who also happened to have a doctorate in mathematical studies.

The campus café was quiet, even for a Saturday. Lunch was the time when late night partiers or studiers began to emerge. There were only half a dozen people sipping coffee or eating breakfast pastries today. Quistis felt the lingering eyes of math majors who wanted to come greet the two esteemed female figures in the math department but were too shy to do so. She looked into her coffee cup and hoped someone would interrupt.

"I wrote the letter for Rinoa." Edea spoke while keeping her eyes on Quistis alone.

Dr. Trepe wrapped her pale hands around her coffee cup for warmth. She still hated herself for agreeing to meet with Edea. Quistis anticipated that the raven-haired beauty would be the main topic of conversation. It seemed to her that everything was about Rinoa now.

"Are you saying that you know her?" Quistis cut to the chase.

"Yes." The Dean's wife sipped her tea and elaborated. "I have known her for a long time."

"When I read the letter you sent us she didn't act as if she did."

"She is not ready yet. I know that much now." Edea's thoughtful stare reminded Quistis of Rinoa for a brief moment. "But now that she knows I am waiting for her, she will come when she is ready."

Quistis adjusted her glasses frame even though they weren't crooked. Frustrated and vulnerable under Edea's caring gaze, she could not take it any longer.

"Listen," she began in the most forceful voice she had ever used, "You're the one who left a cryptic message on my phone at a very inappropriate time, and you must know that I honestly don't want to be here right now. But I came. I came here for answers, not vague hints about someone who isn't in my life anymore."

"Quistis. Why are you so ready to give up?"

The blond professor scoffed. "Give up on what?"

Edea's lips hinted toward a smile. "You tell me. Tell me everything."

"I came here under the impression that you would be giving me answers. Not the other way around. How do you know Rinoa? What isn't she ready for? And what in God's name does anything between the two of you have to do with me?"

"All right," Edea massaged the outside of her teacup with her fingertips. Quistis braced herself for the worst. Mrs. Kramer was more than reluctant to say the following words.

"Quistis. I am…" Her kind eyes filled with sadness. "I am Squall's mother."

Quistis almost lost the coffee inside of her mouth.

"Cid and I also have another son. Seifer."

Now Quistis thought she would faint. Her coffee cup fell hard on the table. Neither of the women paid attention to the spilt coffee. The room began filling with French vanilla and adrenaline.

"Seifer and Squall are brothers? Rinoa and I were dating…?" Quistis removed her glasses and set them in the coffee puddle.

"They were both adopted. My husband and I decided that they would keep their original surnames. Both Seifer and Squall were about five when we adopted them."

"And you are their mother?"

Edea nodded. "When I received news of my son's death, I tried contacting Rinoa through every means possible. I called, went to their apartment, wrote letters. I even tried a telepathic link to see if I could detect her whereabouts. Except she was in the very last place I would have ever suspected."

"With me," Quistis finished. She decided not to comment on the 'telepathic link' idea.

"That's right. You have no idea how relieved and excited I was to see her here on campus with you. However, in lieu of the circumstances and Rinoa's feelings, I felt as though I couldn't just approach her."

"So you wrote a letter to see if she was willing to see you?" Quistis guessed. She followed the conversation despite her thoughts lingering on the fact that Edea was Seifer's adopted mother.

"Yes." The headmaster's wife finished her cup of tea.

"Fair enough."

"Now, Quistis… There is something else we need to discuss."

The math instructor chuckled sardonically. "Oh, like what? The fact that I dated a colleague who happens to be your son? Or are you speaking of the runaway widow who hid in my apartment for over a month?"

If Dr. Trepe's sarcasm was getting to Edea it wasn't showing. "Quistis, please. I'm not accusing or berating you. I know it's difficult, but I need an honest answer here."

"So I am a liar now?" Quistis narrowed her blazing blue eyes.

"No. You're just stubborn when it comes to sharing your emotions."

She growled inside her throat. "And how would you know that?"

"How do you feel about Rinoa?"

"What?"

Edea leaned across the narrow coffee table. Quistis stared back at her though she felt dizzy with anger. She never thought Edea would be so forthright and personal with her. The prodigy professor. Quistis wanted to scream. She wanted to throw her empty coffee mug at Edea and cuss at her and tell her to mind her own goddamn business because she was still being accused of all sorts of inappropriate conduct.

Instead, Quistis melted underneath the woman's stare. There was no energy left to retaliate. In a sudden instant of vulnerability, Quistis turned her sharp glare around the room to be sure no one was watching this peculiar staring contest.

Edea giggled like a schoolgirl.

"You think this is funny?"

Edea shook her head. "No, no, I'm sorry…" She wiped her bottom lip with her napkin. "Rinoa would have loved to see that."

"I know," Quistis admitted. She dug her fingernails into her hair. "Rinoa left, as you know," she no longer wondered how Edea knew the things she did. "I don't know when, or if, she will come back to me."

Edea nodded. She was pleased to be making some headway against Quistis' wall. "Would you wait for her?"

The blond opened her mouth to respond but bit her tongue. _Yes. For the rest of my life. I would do anything to see her beautiful smile light up my life once more. _

"…Why?"

"Because," Edea reached out and covered one of Quistis' hands with her own. "I have a feeling that Rinoa will be leaving us for a long, long time."

"Oh." Her stomach dropped to the floor, "Is that all?"


End file.
